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Thread: Fey Hourglass

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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Fey Hourglass

    (This one, I daresay, is a bit easier to understand than my "Dead Men Tell No Tales" one. It's the progression of a woman's life. I wrote this way back in my sophomore year of high school, so be kind in your criticism.)

    FEY HOURGLASS

    A girl, dancing to the sporadic beat of a broken metronome.
    No-one can guess just what she is thinking.
    She supposes that, when she grows up, she wants to be just like Mommy.
    And the sand is falling, and she's sinking.

    A teenager, humming along with the voices on an old CD.
    And the low-battery light is blinking.
    One day, she'll become a Hollywood star, but for now she's seventeen.
    And the sand is falling, and she's sinking.

    A young woman, rushing to the office complex, no Hollywood star.
    Boss yelling, kids crying, husband drinking.
    Bandaging papercuts, wondering why she is a secretary.
    And the sand is falling, and she's sinking.

    Middle-aged and proud of it, watching her son graduate with honours.
    CatcHing his eye, and waving, and winking.
    Retired now, she would like to vacation in Switzerland, climb Alps.
    And the sand is falling, and she's sinking.

    A grandmother in her rocking chair, "aged to perfection," she'll tell you.
    Twins nearby; her myopic eyes twinkling.
    Content to watch as they dance to the beat of a broken metronome.
    And the sand is falling, and she's sinking.

    New widow, coming back from her beloved husband's funeral.
    Missing him too much, her pale brow wrinkling.
    Feeling blest for ev'ry roller-coaster moment they had together.
    And the sand is falling, and she's sinking.

    Never climbed Alps, never went to Hollywood, never was just like Mom.
    The cancer gnaws her brittle, old body.
    But she is happy; her life is fulfilled by the people she has touched.
    And her time is up; the Hourglass is empty.

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    Re: Fey Hourglass

    I've read this before...it's soooooooooo good!!! So very sad!!!!! Awesome job!

    DEMON SPAWN IS AWESOME!!!!! XP

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    Re: Fey Hourglass

    I think I should take out two stanzas and contribute this to the scholarship panel. What do you think? **looks around** I think I got more of a response out of the poem that sucked than this one which was, I daresay, a bit better! **sigh** It's a good thing I only edit for a living; if I were a writer, I'd be sacked!
    Last edited by divine_punishment; Jan 17, 2007 at 01:08 PM. Reason: FRUSTRATION

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    Re: Fey Hourglass

    Wow this is really good..! I like it. It's very metaphoric! and sad.. I really want to cry for some reason...
    Thank you Lasura!
    My lover speaks; and he says, 'Arise my beloved my beautiful one and come!' -Song of Songs 2:10

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    Decapitation?DontBePicky! Raimann may be famous one day Raimann may be famous one day Raimann's Avatar
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    Re: Fey Hourglass

    Never climbed Alps, never went to Hollywood, never was just like Mom.
    The cancer gnaws her brittle, old body.
    But she is happy; her life is fulfilled by the people she has touched.
    And her time is up; the Hourglass is empty.

    ^^ that is amazing ending it made me cry
    even tho im known as a serious no emotion person
    the idea of a person having their life cut short is sad
    but the hope and love that they have experienced is the greatest reward
    that made me cry, and that was a friggan amazing poem

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    Re: Fey Hourglass

    I appreciate the kudos. If I were to submit this one for a scholarship, I would need to delete two stanzas. Which are the ones I could do without?

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