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Thread: Final Performance...

  1. #1
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Final Performance...

    Final Performance...


    Release me from this spell, Take off these chains
    Let me go, And set me free
    Free me from my sorrow, Bring me back to life
    Give me the life that I always wanted, This will be my final performance...

    "This is the last time"

    As I dance and sing, For all those that wish to hear
    I am graceful and devine, For I am the shining star of this time
    Listen to my voice, Hear my secret words
    Hear my hopes and dreams, For my time has come...

    "The curtins will close again soon"

    I begin my dance on this stage, The stage of my life
    I twist and turn, I almost become dizzy
    The flashing lights, The loud music
    This is my world, This...is my home...

    "The stage is my world"

    My microphone in hand, You can hear my voice ringing through the air
    You gasp and can hardly breath, It seems I take your breath away
    I sway with the music, As I watch you from above
    This is where I belong, With your eyes on me and only me...

    "Keep watching me"

    Keep your eyes on me, And watch as I let everyone dream
    My songs will bring forth those wonderful dreams, Of you and me
    As I sing this song for you, Will you ever know what to do
    This is my song for you, For the one who holds my heart...

    "Let me sing this song to you"

    As I sing our song, I think of you
    Of our time together, The good and the bad
    All of the laughter and all of the tears, These are our memorys
    The ones that I hold dear to my heart, Just as I hold you above the rest...

    "Let's relive all of our memorys once again"

    Release me from this spell, Take off these chains
    Let me go, And set me free
    Free me from my sorrow, Bring me back to life
    Give me the life that I always wanted, This will be my final performance...

    "This is the last time, The very last time"

    As I dance and sing, For all those that wish to hear
    I am graceful and devine, For I am the shining star of this time
    Listen to my voice, Hear my secret words
    Hear my hopes and dreams, For my time has come...

    "The curtins will close again soon, And we'll be alone again"

    I slow it down, To a softer beat
    For this is our love song, Can't really do a faster beat
    I sing my heart out to you, As I watch you from the stage
    I pour my love into this song, Into my final performance...

    "This is the end to the sappy story of you and me.
    But for us this is truly just the begining.
    The begining of our lives...together.
    For this was my....Final Performance..."
    Last edited by Shinigami's_Angel; May 29, 2007 at 08:05 PM. Reason: spelling errors
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  2. #2
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Final Preformance...

    *Performance, shinigami. Performance.

    Punctuation, grammar.. could have been a whole lot better.

  3. #3
    Commander Ham Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer's Avatar
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    Re: Final Preformance...

    This is a poem, there are no rules and rightly so when it comes to Punctuation or Grammar...HOWEVER unless using slang or if there is some point to it then yes correct spelling is a must.

    The poem is "good" but it could be a lot better if you spice it up with some imagery...everything is too straight forward and thus it limits the reader too much, the mind doesn't drift into deeper meanings when you spell everything out like that. Don't get me wrong comparing the diminished love to a performance is a great and a powerful use of imagery...but the way you did it was just too straight forward to me. All of this is just my 2 cents.


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    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Final Preformance...

    Once again sis you've done a great job writting another awesome song. It makes you feel good and sad all at the same time. I can't wait to read your next one.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Final Performance...

    Great Job on the song Angel! Keep up the good work and I will be looking for another one from you!

  6. #6
    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: Final Preformance...

    Quote Originally Posted by chiefblackhammer View Post
    This is a poem, there are no rules and rightly so when it comes to Punctuation or Grammar...HOWEVER unless using slang or if there is some point to it then yes correct spelling is a must.
    And yet, the title is fixed !

  7. #7
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: Final Performance...

    Who cares if the the title needs to be fix or anything else it was great. It was just simple amazing. Top make it more awesomer is that it's a song!!!! Nice job! hope to see more!
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  8. #8
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Final Performance...

    Don't really know what to say, it is a truly wonderful peom, it really took away my breath...
    I admire your skill in writting poems, I wish I could write like this...
    This poem has so many feelings in it that it almost made me cry...
    I'm so glad I read it!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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