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Thread: First Till Now

  1. #1
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    First Till Now

    First Till Now


    First I only cared for you
    I knew you did too

    Than my heart just started to pound so fast
    When you pass by, this cause this to last

    Next I finally knew I wanted to be your girl
    Yet I feared that from in the world

    After that you had gentle kissed me..................
    I knew I was the only one you wanted to see

    Later you kept coming for me
    I never knew this was meant to be

    Now I fear one thing from both of us two
    Is losing the most important thing thats you

    Further more all I want to do
    Is just love you..........

    To a love so dear............
    To a man I'll never fear............

    First till Now all I want is you
    First till Now I hope you love me too
    First till Now.........I cry for you while
    Finally First till Now your my only smile


    I love you

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Not so good huh???? Well sorry for that.
    I guess I'm just not good on poem...-.-
    *Giggles* ^^


    Oh well enjoy ok! ^^
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  2. #2
    God Of Angelz Submarine Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Pencak Champion, Grand Prix Challenge 2 Champion, Twelve Swap Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Crab Volleyball Champion, Hockey Shooter Champion, Trick Master Funky Champion, Mah-Jong Connect Champion, W.R.A.X. Champion dark1angel may be famous one day dark1angel's Avatar
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    Re: First Till Now

    Wow *speechless for a moment* this was indeed really deep in my own thought, though it may need more of a... oh never mind it seems there was a visual into that poem it felt like the person that you love is next to you but in real life he isn't, for i think this may go off the limits in other terms try to reach into greater expactions in life that your trying to improve on what you managed to say. Though try practicing more on your poetic skills in order to have many different visuals as you can in order to have a better understanding from it ok. ^_^

    Magic intervenes when there is love in first sight.
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  3. #3
    I believe in you Indiana Jones In Odd-World Champion, Forest_Brat Champion, Jungle Dave Champion, Beer Dude 2 Champion, Fly Girl Champion Pyro Psycho may be famous one day Pyro Psycho may be famous one day Pyro Psycho's Avatar
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    Re: First Till Now

    Hmm it was fine and good. Just got a bit repetitive afterwards on your last verse. Then the I love you wasn't very necessary there. Expand your vocabulary to rhyme also. Those words are very primary, it needs more meaning and depth.

    But so far so good you have yourself starting off to writing more and better. If you need to also a dictionary and thesaurus are quite handy, I use them too when I write, believe me.


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    Banned Pyramid Gold Champion, Triathlon Champion, Panik: Pogomania Champion Little negi sensei is off to a good start
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    Re: First Till Now

    Say what you like ^.But i still think you write some of the best pomes i have ever read kiwi.^_^

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