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Thread: Flawed

  1. #1
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Cool Flawed

    I smoke too many cigarettes
    and drink to much coffee.
    I'm addicted to video games too.,
    I dare you to try and stop me.

    I watch cartoons everyday
    and I stay up way too late.
    Which makes me lazy and
    that is why I procrastinate.

    I eat like a fat kid who
    doesn't know the word control.
    Yet I'm skinnier than a god
    damned firefighter's pole.

    All these flaws and yet,
    I'm still loved. Ain't it great?
    I'm so defective, but she
    still wants me as her mate.

    I'm so flawed, but yet I
    can appreciate life. Because
    I know one day I will have
    that special lady as my wife.


  2. #2
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: Flawed

    I didn't like the second to last stanza (felt it was superfluous), but I loved this poem. I was reading it going, "Mmm-hmmm . . . yup . . . Oh, yes . . . Same here . . . Awwww." Well-written, mate.

  3. #3
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Flawed

    I think this was one of the better poems, it shows alot of emotion and happiness, one thing everyone wants and it is wierd that no matter how wierd you are or uncool to someone else, that one special person thinks your perfect in everyway. good job Sprout keep it up.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  4. #4
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Flawed

    Thanks to both of you for your comments. I'm glad you liked my work. I haven't written anything that rhymed in a while, so I figured I'd give it a shot.


  5. #5
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Flawed

    your more than welcome sprout. I like giving credit where credit is due.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  6. #6
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Flawed

    @.@ hey...this poems speaks of me a lot.. except that im gaining weight though.. but i am quite skinny.. still better start them workout again..sheesh...

    All these flaws and yet,
    I'm still loved. Ain't it great?
    I'm so defective, but she
    still wants me as her mate
    yea.. and she kept saying that youre perfect to her.. ahh *sighs*

    Nice poem... ^^ I like this one very much.. nicely done... keep it up ^^

    I smoke too many cigarettes
    and drink to much coffee.
    I'm addicted to video games too.,
    I dare you to try and stop me.

    I watch cartoons everyday
    and I stay up way too late.
    Which makes me lazy and
    that is why I procrastinate
    so much like me.. maye most of us here are like that..except tenchu san... he likes studying

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  7. #7
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Flawed

    I am on the phone with you RIGHT now... But I thought I'd let you know, that I really love this poem. Especially cus you lecture yourself.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  8. #8
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Flawed

    Quote Originally Posted by bratling View Post
    I am on the phone with you RIGHT now... But I thought I'd let you know, that I really love this poem. Especially cus you lecture yourself.
    LOL, I'm glad you like it. I kinda figured you'd get a kick out of my Sprout-bashing.

    And thanks to Ray as well. It appears we have much in common. LOL.


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