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Thread: Flow

  1. #1
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Flow

    There are no choices in the voice,
    I look above the sun that shines upon us.
    There aren't any ways that your getting away,
    From my gaze that lurks beyond the haze.
    Without a doubt I stare at your thoughts,
    Twisting and turning within your mind.
    Racing to get to your destination,
    I move on in what you may call frustration...

    There is a ripping feeling I get inside,
    Right in front of me, the sweat pearls down my skin.
    My mind tries to run away from reality,
    Yielding it to keep in touch with what lies ahead.
    Nothing else matters right now,
    Lowering the head but once,
    Could spring despair upon all that count on you.
    The only thing I think about,
    Nothing else than doing my best!

    I end it in a bang,
    A fusion of resonating souls as one.
    The explosion blows the flow of dissonance,
    Recreating the mellow that went with yellow.
    Crashing into a world of artificial meanings,
    Protruding a rush of natural life.
    Yelling, screaming, letting everything out,
    Making the dream come true,
    Breaking the shell that kept me from you!




    Inspired by listening to the anime: BECK

    Note: Unrevised...so that's that!

    Comments!!!!
    Last edited by Soldat of life; Aug 01, 2007 at 10:58 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

  2. #2
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: Flow

    wow...so many powerful words..i can't compete with that even if it's not in the contests @.@ good work~! go and break them walls between~!! i'll support you~!! whoo~!!!

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  3. #3
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: Flow

    With what you just said, I regret not being able to participate in the contest....me and my big mouth...wanting to be a judge again...grrrr!!!

    Oh well, it was done for fun, so fun it was

    Thankyou for the kind words, especially the "powerful" part which I totally agree with after re-reading myself. I highly suggest the anime "BECK", I sped through it in 2-3 days and well, it was AWESOME!
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

  4. #4
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Flow

    Gimme a "V", for vocabulary. And you used yours quite effectively with this.

    The imagery this put in my mind was dark. And it had an alien (yes, i mean the space kind) feel to it... Like somone struggling to break from a cacoon. Or being captured in a pod or vessel of some sort, And your crying out for someone. either that... Or I watch too many movies and need more sleep.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  5. #5
    Commander Ham Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer is making a name for themselves Chiefblackhammer's Avatar
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    Re: Flow

    Awesome poem Soldat, being a big fan of Beck I can hear the words in a different light but even outside of that they carry such power and emotion. Your diction also amazes me sometimes, you use such a board range of it and yet none of the words seem forced. 10's from me


  6. #6
    Newbie ilovenaruto11 is off to a good start ilovenaruto11's Avatar
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    Re: Flow

    wow that was amazing and so awsome good work you are awsome at that and i cant wate to reed more it was awsome and so reel
    Last edited by Chiefblackhammer; Aug 10, 2007 at 07:37 AM. Reason: Removed quote to remove thread clutter

  7. #7
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: Flow

    Thanks all, especially Peach and Chief who particularly offered some good insight.

    And watching the anime really helps to understand this writing as chief pointed out
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

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