+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Focus

  1. #1
    Otaku chrystalann2004 is off to a good start chrystalann2004's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Salt Lake City, U.T.
    Posts
    161
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Focus

    FOCUS

    Don’t step back into the past.
    Always go forward with your dreams.
    Focus on the good and not the bad.

    Yes bad things may happen,
    and they may set you back a little bit .
    Just remember to stay focus on,
    what you want out of life.

    And stay on point for the goals that you set,
    All goals are reachable.
    Just believe in your self,
    and that will happen.

    Everybody's focus may be,
    different from one an other.
    But all they want is to live,
    and see there dreams come true.

    All we have to do is stay focus,
    yes there are time that it may be hard to maintain focus.
    But just remember this,
    Nothing is ever out of reach.
    The dreams you have will happen with time.
    Last edited by chrystalann2004; Nov 28, 2007 at 10:19 AM.

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In a Demon's Arms
    Posts
    1,875
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked 39 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: Focus

    Ahhh... just what I needed in this moment.... I was going all depressed here... I knew I can count on Anime Online poem section ^^ Thank you crystalann for saving me this evening ^^

    Well I like what you're trying to say, it's great to see someone talking about a bit more general things in life, about quite serious things in life... I really enjoyed reading this and indeed... it saved me from lots of depression this evening

    Well there were some language problems, such that I don't want to fight with them, go through them telling where I think it didn't sound good- it'll come with time! Write more!!!! I hope to see more ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that!
    Posts
    641
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 20 Times in 20 Posts

    Re: Focus

    WoW! Great job, seems opposite of what i do though, see i look at the bad things because when io look at good things and they dont work out, i alwasys end up feeling hurt, so if i look at worse case senario then all works for me, but i am positive at times! keep up the work!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  4. #4
    Otaku chrystalann2004 is off to a good start chrystalann2004's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Salt Lake City, U.T.
    Posts
    161
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Re: Focus

    Lasura thank you for your comment
    and I am glad that I could help you
    feel free to point out any language promblom and i will fix them asap
    thangs again for commenting.



    highteckdudu thank you for comment as well
    some time it work and are time is does not
    it just trail and error in the end they fall into place .
    thanks agian for the coomment

  5. #5
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    628
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: Focus

    Yes that is a great poem and very good advice to everyone. However might I offer a few suggestions. !st off try to keep the stanzas even (move a line or two up) for example in Stanza 1 you might want to add a line to this
    Don’t step back into the past.
    Always go forward with your dreams.
    Focus on the good and not the bad.

    might I suggest this line added,
    For bad can always lead to worse
    And in the last stanza
    All we have to do is stay focus,
    yes there are time that it may be hard to maintain focus.
    But just remember this,
    Nothing is ever out of reach.
    The dreams you have will happen with time.

    might I suggest taking out the first line and rewording the second to being
    All we have to do is stay focus,
    Just remember this; Nothing is ever out of reach

    One last thing in the 3rd stanza you might want to try rewording it to
    To stay on point toward your goal you must tell yourself,
    I can do this and reach my goal,
    And nothing is ever out of my reach
    All I have to do is believe in myself and I can accomplish anything.

    good job on the poem again but try and see what these suggestions do for yah you may inhance it quite a bit. Keep it up.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  6. #6
    Otaku chrystalann2004 is off to a good start chrystalann2004's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Salt Lake City, U.T.
    Posts
    161
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Re: Focus

    i will read them and try to work them in some how
    thank you for the comment and the suggeutions as well
    thanks again it great help

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: Aug 06, 2005, 05:48 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts