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Thread: A fool...

  1. #1
    Otaku NightFox may be famous one day NightFox may be famous one day NightFox's Avatar
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    A fool...

    Yet again dedicated to my loved one. Thanks for giving me the strenght to
    fight for what we think that is right... Hontouni arigato



    A life, a pride --
    Once there was a pride --
    boy, man...no, a fool --
    A pride fool, who tried to show
    to all how good he is --
    how good he was --
    just to show-off --

    I could be the same fool --
    the same fool --
    I used to be, used to act --
    without her.

    Life, what is life --
    just a dream, just an object --
    or maybe just a second...

    We born, we live, we die --
    We laugh, we cry, we love --
    Love, one small second --
    actually love someone --
    could rip off our pride --
    our false pride --

    That fool, that pride --
    stupid fool, fell in love --
    fell in love with someone special --
    someone special to him --
    who danced like a princess --
    walked like an angel --
    so gracefull, so pride --

    The fool --
    pride, stupid fool --
    was ready to do everything --
    everything, for her --
    Shoot down the stars --
    turn off the Sun --
    but why...why?


    Critics welcome, and please answer the final question of "poem".
    Really nice to know what you think
    Last edited by NightFox; Jun 07, 2006 at 01:41 PM.


    Love hurts...trust me I know, I really do...

  2. #2
    Otaku pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru's Avatar
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    Re: A fool...

    You repeated alot, lol. I get the point, haha. really...I do like what you tried to do with the poem, emphasizing things you want to be heard with your repetion. Thanks for the post.

    o~Piggy-san~o

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    Otaku NightFox may be famous one day NightFox may be famous one day NightFox's Avatar
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    Re: A fool...

    Repetation...one of most powerfull mean making
    your point clear to all. Works on poems quite nicely.


    Love hurts...trust me I know, I really do...

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    Otaku The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter's Avatar
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    Re: A fool...

    I liked this poem, You made the point that you were trying to get across very clear that was one of the things I liked most about this poem.

    Repetation...one of most powerfull mean making
    your point clear to all.
    Thats true! another good thing to throw into poems is imagery, If you give the reader some good imagery you know you have a great poem.

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    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: A fool...

    lol it was a nice poem, but it was kinda long don't you think! keep it up man.

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    Re: A fool...

    Great poem you got there...I like long poems there not to bad at all. so no worries keep up a geat and awsome work.
    [CENTER]

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    Re: A fool...

    for love thats why.when he love the women
    so much he will do anything she ask's just
    to see her smile . love has no limit thats why.
    it sounds like she broke up with him if i am
    wrong i am sorry but thats what i get from the poem.
    very nice poem i loved it
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #8
    Otaku NightFox may be famous one day NightFox may be famous one day NightFox's Avatar
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    Re: A fool...

    thanks thanks...I wrote this to give a small reflection of my life, my just a small...


    Love hurts...trust me I know, I really do...

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