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Thread: Forever....

  1. #1
    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
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    Forever....


    All things doesn't last,
    Time passes by so fast,
    Leaves fade away,
    We will soon find our way,
    The way of our doom,
    Somewhat like a loom,
    But before I go,
    I want you to know,
    My last letter,
    Even though bitter,
    THat my love for you,
    And only you,
    Will last FOREVER...

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Forever....

    The poem seemed... rushed. Longer stanzas filled with description would have made it flow better.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
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    Re: Forever....

    It's a really short poem kasai...I'll edit it if you want..^_^

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Forever....

    This poem was short. If the stanza's were longer you gotten the true emotion out there a little more. Other than that it was great at least your feeling were in there!

    Keep up the good work!

    BlueFox1

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    Re: Forever....

    short and stanza's aside i liked this poem for what it represent
    and that all i realyl care for wheni read a peom it has to be about
    life nothing fake ,this poem was about life wich made it awesome
    great poem
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  6. #6
    Newbie inuyashagurl may be famous one day inuyashagurl may be famous one day inuyashagurl's Avatar
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    Re: Forever....

    i lov it so much so ya you need to kepp th work up
    When you walk away
    You don't hear me say please. Oh baby, don't go
    Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight. It's hard to let it go

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