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Thread: forever sorrow

  1. #1
    Newbie Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan's Avatar
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    forever sorrow

    yo its my first poem on line i dont know how good it is but what do you guys think?

    forever sorrow ,saga one.

    i feel lost
    i feel empity
    my life is left without meaning
    my heart is full of sorrow

    i love you with all my heart and soul
    only if you new how much
    you were my light
    my deliverance from it all
    you made me hole

    we become so close
    now you decide things ant ment to be
    i grow hollo
    i become a shadow
    my fury boils into streams of blood
    my soul blackens
    i become legion

    my lost love fuels my rage
    a rage unseen
    unheard
    until the day i wilt and break

    i strike at those who oppose me
    like a man possesed
    my anger flows threw me
    it makes me powerfull

    i burn all
    kill all
    take all
    i become war itsself

    my hope
    my light
    is fadeing.......
    Last edited by Ju jitsu Dan; Aug 09, 2006 at 11:19 AM.

  2. #2
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: forever sorrow

    very cool how you described rejection and how
    it can affect you .i have had that feeling once my self
    along time ago. and venting like you did taking it out on
    everyone becuase your love was thrown away very awesome.
    i like this poem and that what i got from this not sure if thats what
    you meant but i got that impression
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  3. #3
    Newbie Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan's Avatar
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    Re: forever sorrow

    HolderOfTheDarkChalice thx for the com yeah your right,you were spot on,feeling like that is a bitch!

  4. #4
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: forever sorrow

    yea i know and you can call me chris if my nic is to long and i cant wait to read another poem that one was great
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. #5
    Thanks for the memories princesslady may be famous one day princesslady may be famous one day princesslady's Avatar
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    Re: forever sorrow

    nice poem. i feel you. nice.*snaps*

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

  6. #6
    Newbie Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan's Avatar
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    Re: forever sorrow

    thx criss feel free to just call me dan

  7. #7
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: forever sorrow

    ok then Dan if you eer want to join the noob clan you can just pm me when ever you feel like you want to join
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #8
    Newbie Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan may be famous one day Ju jitsu Dan's Avatar
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    Re: forever sorrow

    thx dude im all ready working on another but i need to fine tune it,and its slightly diffrent.

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