Thread: Forgive me

Originally Posted by ice viper

Forgive me dear lord for I have sin.
You have not sin, you did nothing wrong.

Forgive me dear lord for I have defined you.
You did not define him , for he is nothing.

Forgive me dear lord for I am a lost sheep waiting for its master to be found.
You are not a lost sheep, master who needs a master.

Forgive me dear lord for I have not honored thy father and mother.
You do not need to honor you father and mother. They just gave birth to you and nothing more.

Forgive me dear lord for I have put hot coals on peoples heads.
There is nothing wrong with hating someone all the time.

Forgive me dear lord for I have not kept you within my heart.
I am glad that you have me in your heart instead of him.

Forgive me dear lord for I will stumble in the past, present and future.
Didn’t I tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. So why are you calling out to him and not to me?

Because dear Satan my body, mind and soul does not belong to you.
It belongs to the heavenly father.
Our lord and savior of this world that you’ve created.
And I want no part with that and with you.
I am not worried little one for I have temped you in the past and present.
So as long as I know how to temped you I know that you will be mine when the world ends.


Ok everyone please tell me what you think. And please give your honest opinion.

well it's interesting*thinks*because i wasn't expecting to read such a poem.
it is kind of akward(for me)to write such a poem..at least i couldn't write one the way you did...i mean i think you did a good job with this poem

Thank you for you opinion on my poem. I know it's kinda strange that I put it up. I just had this poem running through my head for the past two weeks and it all came togeather. I also wasn't trying to offend anyone if they have a diffrent religion.

Originally Posted by ice viper

Thank you for you opinion on my poem. I know it's kinda strange that I put it up. I just had this poem running through my head for the past two weeks and it all came togeather. I also wasn't trying to offend anyone if they have a diffrent religion.

well you did a good job with the poem and i don't think you offened anyone that has a different religion

@.@ whoa... *clears throat* it's interesting never thought it would came from you...
im in such an awe.. @.@ nicely done... and got to say something about the grammars though...

such as... this part...

"Forgive me dear lord for I have sin.
You have not sin, you did nothing wrong."

It's something you have done.. so i would say.. a past tense would be better.. ^^

Forgive me dear lord for I have sinned.
You have not sinned, you did nothing wrong.

there's more though.. but you should know a very good poem btw..keep up the good work

Thanks little bro for pointing that out to me. I know my grammer stinks at time for please forgive me. And again thanks for the nice comment.

Ice this poem is very nicely done, good job it is impresive I like it.

why,... :/ you dont need to say sorry.. or thank you for that matter... just pointing out mistakes so you could learn from them.. just sharing what i know ^^

and your welcomed ^^ keep up the good work ok~!