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Thread: "Freeze"

  1. #1
    Otaku Just Pitching Champion, Mile High Club Champion, Penguin Dive Champion, Gold Strike Champion Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star's Avatar
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    "Freeze"


    Warm, warm heart,
    beat no more.
    Cool so much,
    freeze ones core.
    Stop the ace,
    the pain inside.
    Make me numb,
    for my soul has died.
    Warm, warm heart,
    freeze as stone.
    Make me harsh
    to be alone.
    Stop the hurt,
    the screaming with in.
    Send me to hell
    for all my sin.
    just stop the warmth
    and beat no more.
    Cool so much,
    freeze ones core.


    I wrote this back in November, just so you know. I'm thinking about entering it into a contest somewhere. What do you think of it honestly? BTW... most of my poems are on my poetry sites too. ^_^ Some maybe even in books.

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

  2. #2
    Banned ABC Crazy Champion flaminghate may be famous one day flaminghate may be famous one day
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    Re: "Freeze"

    nice poem^_^ you should try "frozen" instead of "freeze" but hey,it's up to you love the poem

  3. #3
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: "Freeze"

    Nice poem it told a good story. I look forward to reading more.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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