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Thread: Garden of Man

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    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Garden of Man

    Likewise said the plight of man,
    falling over that godly plan.
    Scraping knees atop some stone
    dying madly for whatever unknown.

    Gently the trick is laid about
    so obvious to be a shout;
    twining poorly in our garden,
    rooting firmly to stay and harden.

    Becoming us, one and all.
    Mesmerize the eye into its thrall,
    and fall to nothing upon its call;
    all our knowledge is a useless scrawl.

    However this seems so untrue
    you no longer shall renew.
    Gently the trick is laid about
    so obvious to be a shout.

    ---
    so... i'm unsure what i was going for. something like reduce/reuse/recycle mixed violently with some hippies. it seems a little bit rigid?
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

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    Re: Garden of Man

    Reduce Reuse Recycle? I got something more like "Beware of humanity, and the all seeing eye!". Maybe some maniacal laughing?

    Becoming us, one and all.
    Mesmerize the eye into its thrall,
    and fall to nothing upon its call;
    all our knowledge is a useless scrawl.
    "Muhahahaha!" <Right?

    Wow, this poem was wicked. Maybe you weren't sure what you were going for, but you sure chose some real descriptive words.
    twining poorly in our garden,
    rooting firmly to stay and harden.
    Such an excellent, refreshing, untypical piece... Thanks for that.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Re: Garden of Man

    Wow.. this is an excellent piece.. nice use of wordings and the rhymes.. man..wicked ones right there.. the flow went great thanks to it... lol ^^ I like it.. but unsure of what it meant still.. im getting rusty over poetry already >.<

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