A Genius In The Making.(please comment)

A Genius In The Making
Younger Meji, wrapped in cloth..
.. No one could foresee his skin so soft..

A little boy born with brown hair
as he grows up he'll take every dare
He cannot be beat, this seems to be true
Laughs at the pain that has always ensued

Mid-life screen, the boy acts foolish
Elementary school term, the boy seems abolished
Never fitting in, medication taking over
Boy reacts to situations, his emotions not sober.

Within the boy lies a genius at hand
He cannot live like this, lost is his ability to withstand
Determined to be recognized ha cannot lose
Medication now gone, his emotions short fuse

Learning control, teenage age..
Meji tries to suppress, his undying rage
Having it rough, things seem not right
As tough as he is, he's never won the fight.

Sixteen years old, Karate has helped
The beast inside, beaten it whelps
Mellow now, and sleepy in class
Meji answers regardless, determined to pass.

Revered by some, he's made his path
Can't look back he's happy with that.
I.Q. One twenty-one
All he wants now is to have some fun.

Earning his friends, it's been so hard
Given his past it's been surprising so far
Like a phoenix revived he's back from the ash
Won't get rid of him so quickly, it's not his time to pass

Death seeks him out its happened before
Can't seem to shake him, the only battle he scores
One, two, three, no four. Time's he was suppose to die.
God keeps watch over his genius, must have something important for this guy

Fallen in love with a girl named Lauren, he tickles her nose.
Keeping in his mind that he thinks she knows.
Undecided on what to do he wavers to tell
His feeling to her he can't seem to spell

Genius in the making has so much doubt
He suffers so much trying to figure life out
He wonders why people are so troublesome
He wonders why life is oh so bothersome

Still for that girl he continues to live
Ready to protect her when his time comes to give
His life is rich, probably the best to be had
He's not rich, not poor but in love it's obvious to be said

Love is a great thing love is to be had..
Once he was stupid just to think it was a fad.
Chased before just to be put down
This time he thinks he's found solid ground

Finally the genius is coming to an end
His life finally coming to a bend
Death failed in his ability to take
His determination to have the dream he made

Finally recognized. Finally heard.
His soul finds solace in watching only one girl
He's found his purpose he's found his peace..
He's found what it is, what being a genius truly means.

Yeah yeah, it's a love poem. I had to do it, it's actually my life story up to this point. ^_^ I guess with some guitar and a proper beat it could be a song but it was meant for a poem >_< A... really long poem >_<

:2thumbs: i really liked reading your poem^^ keep up the good work:2thumbs:D

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Originally Posted by blackrose92

:2thumbs: i really liked reading your poem^^ keep up the good work:2thumbs:D

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Thanks, I'm really proud of how it came out as I read it. I was worried that with those words I used that were similar but not rhyming would throw the rhythm off or that the "One, two, three, no four. Time's he was suppose to die." would throw off rhythm as well but, It actually made it that much more better... Ohh, shit.. That was bad grammerhttp://gaiarch.gaiatools.com/emotes/5oxlp4.gif "More better" That poem must've taken it out of me xD

That was a very good poem.I didn't like some of the rhyming,I find it to be off a bit.
But,it was,overall pretty good.

Yeah, as I stated some of it I thought would be off. (I may have read it in a different rhythm that made it sound good)

Man, I wrote a poem that was about a fourth the size of this, and was told it was long... I disagreed, wishing I could've shown them an example of what "long" truely was. And here it is...

So genius eh? I get annoyed by that title when its self proclaimed (even if its a fact)... I find it to be cocky, but thats because I have a friend who refers to himself as genius. Meh...

Anyway... I really liked the bulk of the poem (I must say I preferred the first 7 stanzas)... But there were some sentences I thought were worded funny. And a few rhymes that didnt quite flow well... But nothing that would really tarnish the luster of the poem overall.

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Originally Posted by Peach_follows

Man, I wrote a poem that was about a fourth the size of this, and was told it was long... I disagreed, wishing I could've shown them an example of what "long" truely was. And here it is...

So genius eh? I get annoyed by that title when its self proclaimed (even if its a fact)... I find it to be cocky, but thats because I have a friend who refers to himself as genius. Meh...

Anyway... I really liked bulk of the poem (I must say I preferred the first 7 stanzas)... But there were some sentences I thought were worded funny. And a few rhymes that didnt quite flow well... But nothing that would really tarnish the luster of the poem overall.

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Well, I have been told I'm a cocky person, at the same time the title isnt completely self-proclaimed in my case. I'm just 19 points off of Genius on the IQ chart and my teachers tell me I have quite the large mind and that they think I don't operate to my full potential so I guess I could be considered a genius but I'm not going to boast it >_<