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Thread: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

  1. #1
    Otaku Just Pitching Champion, Mile High Club Champion, Penguin Dive Champion, Gold Strike Champion Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star's Avatar
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    "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    Rest on me my sweet friend.
    Touch my skin and make them crenge.
    Tear me open and make me bleed.
    Give me, pain, You must succeed.

    Rest on me and slide deeply down.
    Bleed me dry till I fall down.
    Give me life and numbness fades.
    Help me cope, this light must die.

    Rest on me my dear sharp blade.
    Give me death, my soul must flee.
    Rescue me from these crazy thoughts.
    Help control what they can not.

    Give me freedom to do what they will not.
    Give me hope of the end of life.
    Give me pain I so longingly lust for.
    Rest on me till help takes you away...

    Sorry if there are several spelling errors. I'm at school and would have to wait for ever to down load the spellcheck thing. ^_^

    I didn't try and make it rhyme.
    Last edited by Darkened_Star; Mar 29, 2007 at 06:09 AM.

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

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    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    DS, you are a great writer and I like this one lol, keep it up and hope to read more of your work.

  3. #3
    Otaku Mattness may be famous one day Mattness may be famous one day Mattness's Avatar
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    Re: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    Some kind words from another clan member:

    Darkened, why are you a CUTTER!?!
    Jk, I still love you. The poem is a little dark and it reminded me of a scary movie... Keep on writing and maybe keep it persional, I don't write in that medium. It was enlightening .


  4. #4
    Shu
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    Re: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    pretty good. gives a good insight to cutting for those who never have.

  5. #5
    Anime Online's Lesbian SasuraiHell may be famous one day SasuraiHell may be famous one day SasuraiHell's Avatar
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    Re: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    Not the worst poem, but well structured nonetheless , it was nice.
    I've always wondered why people CUT?, stress?,lack of human touch from a partner? what?., hell if its life getting you down, do what i do, turn to smoking, same freaking effect :P,

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    Re: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    Yay... as a clan member i am proud of u for making a good poem..
    but another about suicide..? read my poem... then..the latest 1...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

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    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    Hmmm. I actually liked the first stanza of this poem. I didnt know it was about cutters until the second. Well done.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Banned The White Wolf is off to a good start
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    Re: "Give" (Involves Cutting)

    I aswell liked the first stanza of the poem. I started to like the second stanza, until the last line of it. It seemed as though you were going for a rhyming scheme, but then it totally changed. I don't know if that's good or bad, or if you intended it to be like that. Either way, great poem. I enjoyed it.

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