I like your new poem, the flow is a bit choppy, but it conveys your feelings well. Mad props! I encourage expression.
I know things are tough right now and I know that you don't really know how to deal with it. Just remember that I'm here for ya if ya need a friend to talk to. As you know, I lost a family member once, and I know how it feels to deal with death of a loved one. It hurts like hell. It's not something you can just turn off, but gradually, with time, you'll start to feel differently about your loss; knowing that person's in a better place within The Universe.
Keep your head up!