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Thread: happy ever after

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957's Avatar
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    happy ever after

    thats how they want you to think it will be
    but its not
    not at all in reality
    the deaths,the tears,the fears and the falls
    thought it all we still go on
    the broken hearts
    the cheating friends
    so much pain that never ends
    the fake smiles that seem to make everything ok
    but not for me because i know the pain wont go away
    bright and cherry but oh so weary,
    because inside my heart is breaking in two.

    Tanks zyta

  2. #2
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: happy ever after

    kool poem hiei9957, although it is abit too short. Keep it up.

  3. #3
    Newbie man of lost soul may be famous one day man of lost soul may be famous one day man of lost soul's Avatar
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    Re: happy ever after

    Nice its better then most it heard
    but whats know mankind is born in pain and we die in pain.

  4. #4
    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: happy ever after

    Though the fact the poem is short,I enjoyed the emotions that are in this poem.Like all poems,it connects to the reader and this one does that and also I think...appeals to the soft side of people.That's nice.

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957 may be famous one day hiei9957's Avatar
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    Re: happy ever after

    i didnt know poems had to be long. ill try to write a nother one.

    Tanks zyta

  6. #6
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: happy ever after

    for a short poem this is really good, it has a good flow with it and nice performence, keep it up

  7. #7
    5.00 M33-6 solking may be famous one day solking may be famous one day solking's Avatar
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    Re: happy ever after

    Poems don't have to be long. Although it was good and had alot of emotion you could have elaborated more and go into more detail. It wouldn't hurt to extend it more. Overall I liked it.

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