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Thread: Hate on me.

  1. #9
    My Entity Is Unknown anime_being_god is making a name for themselves anime_being_god is making a name for themselves anime_being_god's Avatar
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    Re: Hate on me.

    holy hell

    Thats like the meanest peom ive ever read.lol Not to bad describing ur feelings there

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  2. #10
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Hate on me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ichigo_06 View Post
    I must say man that was a verry angry poem, sounds like one I had put up a while ago, great job man keep it up. (hum havent been in here in a while) anyways back on topic,The flow is good, however you do ryime in all the stanzas but sometimes it is a bit off, if you know what I mean. however it is still good and your point is well felt. lol keep it up!
    Yeah, I'll admit upon reading this a third time, it is a bit off with the rhyming. I was pretty pissed that day, so the way I put it together as a whole was a lil' bit off. But I'm still proud of the fact that I can write under any circumstance. ^_^ Thanks for reading, as usual, Ichigo! I appreciate the time you take to read all of my lengthy writing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ochi Gate View Post
    indeed, it is a mean poem, and yet, i sense that i know who its referencing to
    good poem tho
    LOL, if you do know, I don't think I'd be suprised. You've got too many credits to not know what's up here on AO. Anywho, thanks for your input, I appreciate your taking time to read this, Ochi. ^_^


  3. #11
    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
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    Re: Hate on me.

    That really as a very descriptive and it created one of the most clear atmospheres I have ever read in a poem. But I do find its easier to write a poem when you are filled with emotion and letting them all flow out rather than trying to force them. You are good at being able to keep the reader intrigued and continue to read without having to re-read any parts. The flow of the poem was nicely thought of.

    I have one question, Is the but within the this stanza meant to start the next line?
    You can say that you don't
    try to directly attack, but
    I know that all you're doin'
    is tryin' to get me back!
    It kind of ruined the idea of the rhyming within the stanza as it broke the end of the line in my opinion.
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  4. #12
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: Hate on me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sazzy View Post
    That really as a very descriptive and it created one of the most clear atmospheres I have ever read in a poem. But I do find its easier to write a poem when you are filled with emotion and letting them all flow out rather than trying to force them. You are good at being able to keep the reader intrigued and continue to read without having to re-read any parts. The flow of the poem was nicely thought of.

    I have one question, Is the but within the this stanza meant to start the next line?

    It kind of ruined the idea of the rhyming within the stanza as it broke the end of the line in my opinion.
    Wow, Saz! Thanks for your comments, I'm glad you like this one so much. And thanks for your encouraging words about how I write. Anywho, to answer your question: You're right. The "but" was meant to start the next line, but I needed filler to keep the text from looking out of whack, so I put it where it is now, just to make it look pretty, LOL. I didn't notice how bad it throws people off until you said something, LOL. Good eye you've got there. ^_^


  5. #13
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Hate on me.

    Quote Originally Posted by atomik_sprout View Post
    Wow, Saz! Thanks for your comments, I'm glad you like this one so much. And thanks for your encouraging words about how I write. Anywho, to answer your question: You're right. The "but" was meant to start the next line, but I needed filler to keep the text from looking out of whack, so I put it where it is now, just to make it look pretty, LOL. I didn't notice how bad it throws people off until you said something, LOL. Good eye you've got there. ^_^
    hum what about this as a suggestion,
    "You can say that you dont
    try to directly attack me,
    But"

    re reading it you could and the "me" in there as a filler and put the "but" to the next line. just a thought though. trying to help ya anway I can.
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  6. #14
    Newbie SnoReaper is off to a good start SnoReaper's Avatar
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    Re: Hate on me.

    ONCE again , dam , some deep words!!!!


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