+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Have I Truly Fallen

  1. #1
    Jigoku Shoujo Dangerous Dave Part 1 : Mole Surfing Champion Descended From Darkness may be famous one day Descended From Darkness may be famous one day Descended From Darkness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    somewhere far far away from here.
    Posts
    505
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Have I Truly Fallen

    I feel so heart-broken
    knowing that the one I love
    has changed
    from something he was born
    to worship to
    something I loathe with a passion

    I know I should be happy
    that he decided to change
    but why Goddess
    why did it have to
    be that

    I sit here broken-hearted
    wondering why I am in
    tears
    wondering why do I feel
    so betrayed

    Have I fallen that far
    Have I fallen that hard
    that I can't accept
    what he wants to be

    Maybe I have fallen
    from his grace
    become bitter and cynical
    in loves place
    Is it because of what has happened
    in the past
    when I chose to follow a different
    path and was scrutinized
    by my own peers

    Have I fallen that far
    Have I fallen that hard
    that a part of me can't accept
    what he wants to be

    I have always been accepting
    and understanding of
    his weird little ways
    but this time a part of me
    screams "LET HIM GO"

    Is it because of the past
    when I chose to choose
    a different path
    that the words of my fellow
    peers made me bitter and cynical

    Why can't I let go of the past
    Of all the things that happened
    That have haunted me
    for all eternity

    And yet a part of me wants to let
    go of him
    and yet I sit here crying
    wondering what I should do

    Have I fallen that far
    Have I fallen that hard
    that I have to choose
    to let go of the one I love
    or to stay with him no matter what.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    Re: Have I Truly Fallen

    Hmmm, *scratches noggin* you could use some punctuation here. Also, where you chose to break certain lines makes the poem read a bit choppy. But, I liked what you were trying to get across here. I just think its a bit harder to get the point when there are so many distractions. Maybe you could do a re-read, and a bit of editing?
    ... Not Ever Again...

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Fallen Poems
    By DragonHeart in forum Poems
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Dec 07, 2007, 12:30 PM
  2. Fallen
    By NevesElocin in forum Poems
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: May 28, 2007, 08:35 PM
  3. Fallen Angel
    By Dark Moon Cat in forum Poems
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Feb 17, 2007, 07:00 PM
  4. I am the Fallen Angel
    By Othello in forum Poems
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: Oct 10, 2006, 03:00 AM
  5. Fallen Sun
    By The Deepest Gray in forum Poems
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: Sep 02, 2006, 05:49 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts