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Thread: to have loved and to have lost

  1. #1
    Newbie Alondra is off to a good start Alondra's Avatar
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    to have loved and to have lost

    To love and to lose,
    than to not love at all
    why must I choose?

    To have loved and to have lost,
    we let our hearts pay a cost.

    To love and feel that something,
    to lose and feel that nothing.

    From wanting something so bad,
    now it was just something I had.

    To watch it slip away,
    in agony waiting for that day.

    We let happiness slip through our fingers,
    I know that our love still lingers.

    We let our assumptions choose our fate,
    We let it happen thats what I hate.

    We tell each other that we're okay,
    are we telling the truth, who's to say?

    No matter what happens my love is always true,
    I'm that type of person what's it to you?

    Like I said I'll always be a friend,
    hopefully a good one til the end

    I could sit and wait for it to come back to me
    until that day I'll just let it be!

    To love and to lose,
    than to not love at all
    what do you choose?



    I know I'm very rusty so don't be too mean on the criticism
    Last edited by Alondra; Dec 07, 2007 at 12:48 AM.

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: to have loved and to have lost

    Way to go, Alondra! *applauds use of puncuation* ^_^

    On a seriuos note, I am really impressed with this poem! Up until your first poem a while back, I had no idea that you had writing talent and this poem confirms it!

    I like the structure of your writing and how each stanza is evenly written. Your rhyming skills are what really caught me off guard. Kudos, LaLa! You get a gold star, LOL!

    One more thing:
    To wanting something so bad,
    now it was just something I had.
    Shouldn't it be like this?
    From wanting something so bad,
    now it was just something I had.
    Yeah, I'm a grammar whore! LOL.


  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: to have loved and to have lost

    I really like this. Keep up the writing it will only get better, and thers little wrong with this. Slightly repetitive but it enforced your point in the end. It shows your a dedicated person.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

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