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Thread: Haven't I got any say in this?

  1. #1
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Haven't I got any say in this?

    Coldly staring into nothingness,
    With his life ticking by rather abruptly,
    Languorously fighting his way to reality,
    He tries to reach the warm touch of the angel
    ... Mistaken for a strand of sunshine

    Not having a say in any of this,
    Stubbornly waiting for the anticipated day,
    For precious days, months, years ...
    Spending his time gazing into the past

    Reminiscing the memories, those wonderful
    Heart-warming moments, which finally made him feel
    Like a human, for once in his life,
    He was free, bound to no limits

    The enigmatic, charismatic girl he had fallen in love with
    He believed in her and had patience
    He had no intentions of letting her go
    With his arms tightly wrapped around her

    His inner metamorphosis transforming his heart
    From black coal to pure gold,
    Oh, how he wished that this would last forever,
    Oh, how dreadfully mistaken he was!
    Oh ... if I was only there to warn him ...

    And now as he has one foot in his grave,
    He covers his face as he cries like a little child
    Wailing, choking, howling breathlessly,
    Hating those which poisoned his heart

    With uncertainties tormenting his mind:
    Why me? What have I done to deserve this?
    What we had was eternal; why did this happen?

    Foolish, I thought, as I watched him struggle hopelessly
    Like an animal brought for slaughter
    With no escape in sight, living in a
    Pitiful state of complete misery

    He, foolish and naïve he was,
    Still believing in his bond, his heart
    Still could not despise her nor let her go,
    That blackened heart was still of a boy
    Who once experienced unparalleled love

    That very same person, smiling still,
    Shedding tears from his beautiful, dull eyes,
    Remembers her, wants to hold her, meet her one last time
    As he stubbornly waits for the anticipated day
    Ignoring his signs of lifelessness,
    He takes one last look at his wonderful face
    As I stare back at him, being in his shoes
    I close my eyes as he does

    Slowly drifting to a surreal world

    Cherishing his memories till his final breath.

  2. #2
    Newbie Monkey is off to a good start Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: Haven't I got any say in this?

    wow that was really touching, i like this verse more
    The enigmatic, charismatic girl he had fallen in love with
    He believed in her and had patience
    He had no intentions of letting her go
    With his arms tightly wrapped around her
    Its sad yet emotionfelt ...good job, and keep it up...

    If only people choose to adopt me.... a lonely monkey

  3. #3
    Fallen Angel PhoenixSara may be famous one day PhoenixSara's Avatar
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    Re: Haven't I got any say in this?

    Not having a say in any of this,
    Stubbornly waiting for the anticipated day,
    For precious days, months, years ...
    Spending his time gazing into the past
    i like this and the style and flow is good more like storry telling. hope to see more posts . reminds me of how i feel
    "In your arms is where i will be, I love you till my forever ends."
    Clan Rainstorm 2nd Company, Kunoichi Leader
    PhoenixSara FB / Click Me IMVU/Atlantis RPG/Rules and FAQ/MY BLOG /

  4. #4
    Otaku heartless is off to a good start
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    Re: Haven't I got any say in this?

    this is something else,a great deep poem, i liked it,and i liked this verse a lot

    He, foolish and naïve he was,
    Still believing in his bond, his heart
    Still could not despise her nor let her go,
    That blackened heart was still of a boy
    Who once experienced unparalleled love
    sometimes i wish i never existed
    -heartless.DY-025

  5. #5
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Haven't I got any say in this?

    Haha thanks! You really liked it? I'm glad ... thank you!
    This is just my first draft, like most my poems. I can't be bothered to change them because it's raw emotion.

    @ Monkey: It is sad, aye? I only write poems when I feel something prominent.

    @ PhoenixSara: It is story telling Which is most likely to come true!

    @ heartless: That is my favourite verse, too

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