Thread: Heart ache.

It is a beautiful poem. It does say a lot too. Man I was reading it and I felt it... it is really beautiful. Keep it up.

thank you Leb. I appreciate the feed back you probably already figured out why I wrote it but that is not a discution for here.

Originally Posted by Ichigo_06

My vision becomes blury as I blink away tears,
My heart achs with the loss of someone dear.
I hate to admit it but I have to to stay alive.
I ach with the loss of someone so dear.

I miss her and love her, but know she is only a friend.
I ach with the fear of returning back to old ways,
but I burn still with love because she told me herself.

Pain is not always bad, pain is an outcome.
although I hurt, I love at the same time.
Inside I cry, but outside I laugh.
Mixed emotions with a mixed up mind.

My vision bours as tears try to fall.

It does show the pain you feel yet the mixture of the number of lines in each stanza/verse. It breaks the flow of the poem mostly in the middle verse where there is only three and the flow is broken.

It start of with one line almost being repeated yet modified. But then its stopped. It would have been great to see other verses continued in the same way.

But its still a good poem, good work.

Thank you Dancy. although it shows true emotion I dont think alot of people would figure that out unless they were told (not calling them stupid or anything) but I am just saying that it is not something alot of people would see.

OH *HUGS* I'm sorry Ichigo-kun

*hugs agin*
wow I didn't relize how much you were hurting. I'm sorry.
Wow but yes this is a very good poem. I had trouble not crying.

Soo much emotion. Wow I am sorry Ichigo.

it is not your fault PR trust me. dont worry you have nothing to appologiz to me for. I will be alright.

Ichigo so sad . Don't worry it will get better trust me. . Your poem shows how much you are hurting. I've been there and I have to say that I don't like break ups. It also shows so much emotion. Very good poem Ichigo.