Thine sole now wanders
Amongst the darkened realm of thine mind
Thine dearest has left
Never to return to thine arms
Never will thine eyes see thou gentle face.
Thine soul now burdened
All hope fails
Thine heart now shatters
Thine soul now crumbles
Thine mind now fails
Leaving nothing but an empty husk behind
No longer feels emotion
No longer feels pain
Thine soul now gone
this is a poem that i just wrote and i would like you all to give a little bit of your constructive criticisem.
Last edited by Dragons2801; Apr 24, 2010 at 01:23 PM.
within the darkened realm of the mind, is endless shadows, wrenching pain, warming love, and burning desires.
I think it is very good. I also like the classical style you have adopted I have always found it difficult to write in that style.
Sword in hand, fire in heart, I walk towards my future just playing my part.
The school of the undefeated East! The winds of the king! Zenshin! Keiretsu! Tempa! Kyoran! Look! The East is burning red!” (G Gundam)
Ride Fast, Live Free & Stay strong.
Dragons2801 (Apr 22, 2010)