this heaven

this heaven

(remember)

this heaven, this
touch of flesh/this

grip on bone, the
fingers light but/deep,
grasping his soul and/his
whisper on my ear,

rising as/mist, as clouds,
as/weightless as though
orbiting the/atmosphere

trembling under silent
gazes/a word or a volume
in a soundless gasp

a moment sought,
this moment found
this moment stretched/across
eternity...this hour, this day/this
feeling, this is/this

is/this

is

heaven

(to breathe)



Not sure if I hit exactly what I was going for with this, but I do like the way it turned out.

Ooooooohhh.... "remember to breathe" ...
Its like you captured a beautiful, heavenly moment in time....

I read it again, holding my breath as though I was too overwhelmed by the feeling of it to breathe. Inhailing only at the end. In many years this poem is the closest I've come to feeling that way.

Thanks. That's really what I was going for, a breath caught in the throat kind of feeling at something so unbelievably amazing. The stanzas are more of an afterthought, I originally had it all lumped together, but it seems to give more to the feeling to break it up.

Something about your writing brings me back to literature class in my desk reading poetry... Poetry at it's finest!!! A search for beauty, I guess you've found it right here in this writing... I envy you cause I could never write something like this... My writing always end up like freestyle lyrics, but this is not about me this is about you & how you captured beauty in every stanza making the reader know the feeling when they find heaven... "A moment sought, this moment found"... That line right there put the whole writing on track... Great use of words!!!