Sorry if I misspelled anything but over all I like this poem.
From Heaven to Hell
From Heavento Hell thats my life
it happens to often
I can't bear it.
I'll be in the clouds
only feeling happiness
not careing what could happen next.
Then it happens
From Heaven to Hell
thats my life
it happens so often
I can't bear it.
Now I'm in the pits of hell
I only fell sorrow.
Scared of what might happen next
Then it happens
From Heaven to Hell
thats my life
it happens so often
I can't bear it
I'm back in the clouds
I only happiness
not careing what could happen next
Then it starts all over
From Heaven to Hell
thats my life
it happens so often
I can't bear it.
Well thats it I know it may not seem as much but I hope you all like it in some way.
Last edited by kedar; Sep 16, 2006 at 12:23 PM.
~!!! I can see the transitional flow that you planted into this poem, by detailing the characteristic state in heaven and in hell, but overall, it's pretty simple. However, it contains a good meaning. Next time, try to elaborate a little more. ^_^ All in all, it's a neat little poem. Keep the good work.
-> Corrected the title.
Last edited by kedar; Sep 16, 2006 at 12:23 PM.
its good i like it, the way it keeps changing etc its a realy unique idea and i think youve made it work well, good job
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