Her Dream

BrokenLover101 · May 13, 2008, 04:44 AM

She watches him closely in the rays of the sun
Always waiting for some sign that he really is the one
And in the midst of all his pain and suffering
She realizes that he is the one

Not because of some mistaken or unrealized sweetness
But because of the simple fact that he loves her
For who she is and not the false front
That she always puts up for everyone to see

Looking back on those beautiful, sweet and romantic memories
She goes to that far away dream land where she is his once again
Holding him in her arms as he places on of those sweet kisses
Upon her lips that make her knees go weak and long for his touch

He brought the light to her life so long ago
And as she moves on to a new life, yet unknown
She can’t help looking back and wondering what happened
To the love that they once had felt

When she was with him she mever wanted to let him go
She wanted to hold him forever as her own
But in the end all they ever did was fight
So she had to let him go, knowing the pain that comes with it

If I could go back and warn her
I’d tell her to go through it just the way she did
Because to this day she still looks back and thinks of those
As her happiest moments for the simple fact that they were spent with him

As she looks in the mirror she sees me staring back at her
With one hand holding a knife and the other hand bleeding
Closing her eyes one last time
She drifts to that world where she can be his for all of time

*Rave_Grip* · May 13, 2008, 04:53 AM

Sounds veeeery similar ^_^ It's a very nice, warm and fluent poem. But that is an understatement.
It starts suddenly, creating a peaceful image in my head, of a gentle and loving girl who once loved her man. It did create a lot of emotion too, in my opinion. I loved its flow, how it smoothly steps to another level without loosing its essence. Great work.

BrokenLover101 · May 13, 2008, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rave_Grip

Sounds veeeery similar ^_^ It's a very nice, warm and fluent poem. But that is an understatement.
It starts suddenly, creating a peaceful image in my head, of a gentle and loving girl who once loved her man. It did create a lot of emotion too, in my opinion. I loved its flow, how it smoothly steps to another level without loosing its essence. Great work.

I'm sure it does.
Thank you but it's not really all that great. I was intented to create a girl who loves a man that no matter how hard she tries she cant give him up and in the she dies with him as the last thing on her mind and drifting into an eternal sleep where she can always have him by her side. I created it out of 3 peoples lives. Mine, Mary's(a friend of mine) and My ex boyfriend(you).

*Rave_Grip* · May 13, 2008, 05:12 AM

Eh, you never know. It can be a year before all of this comes true. Anywho, I love the last part.

*Ochi Gate* · May 13, 2008, 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrokenLover101

I'm sure it does.
Thank you but it's not really all that great

nothing you ever do or make is that great, is it?

i thought it was OK. not really one for poems, tho. i prefer haiku, if anything.

BrokenLover101 · May 13, 2008, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ochi Gate

nothing you ever do or make is that great, is it?

i thought it was OK. not really one for poems, tho. i prefer haiku, if anything.

Well i'm glad you liked it rave.

aww.. I'll try to make a haiku for you sometime Ochi. ^^

Kiani Haki22 · May 21, 2008, 02:50 PM

I love this poem.....one mistake mever....I think you meant never.....but keep on writting yet another poem of yours that almost made me cry....I was wonder what happen because when I read this poem I feel your pain...did somebody hurt you???

BrokenLover101 · May 22, 2008, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiani Haki22

I love this poem.....one mistake mever....I think you meant never.....but keep on writting yet another poem of yours that almost made me cry....I was wonder what happen because when I read this poem I feel your pain...did somebody hurt you???

Actually yes, He hurt me but I hurt him... so we both share this kind of pain...

May 13, 2008, 04:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
BrokenLover101 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Hell... wanna join? Posts: 262 Thanks: 36 Thanked 26 Times in 25 Posts Credits: 12,324	Her Dream She watches him closely in the rays of the sun Always waiting for some sign that he really is the one And in the midst of all his pain and suffering She realizes that he is the one Not because of some mistaken or unrealized sweetness But because of the simple fact that he loves her For who she is and not the false front That she always puts up for everyone to see Looking back on those beautiful, sweet and romantic memories She goes to that far away dream land where she is his once again Holding him in her arms as he places on of those sweet kisses Upon her lips that make her knees go weak and long for his touch He brought the light to her life so long ago And as she moves on to a new life, yet unknown She can’t help looking back and wondering what happened To the love that they once had felt When she was with him she mever wanted to let him go She wanted to hold him forever as her own But in the end all they ever did was fight So she had to let him go, knowing the pain that comes with it If I could go back and warn her I’d tell her to go through it just the way she did Because to this day she still looks back and thinks of those As her happiest moments for the simple fact that they were spent with him As she looks in the mirror she sees me staring back at her With one hand holding a knife and the other hand bleeding Closing her eyes one last time She drifts to that world where she can be his for all of time __________________ *\\\ Never Love Again ///* Last edited by BrokenLover101; May 22, 2008 at 04:44 AM.
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May 13, 2008, 04:53 AM	#2 (permalink)
Rave_Grip I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion. Posts: 2,314 Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,832	Re: Her Dream Sounds veeeery similar ^_^ It's a very nice, warm and fluent poem. But that is an understatement. It starts suddenly, creating a peaceful image in my head, of a gentle and loving girl who once loved her man. It did create a lot of emotion too, in my opinion. I loved its flow, how it smoothly steps to another level without loosing its essence. Great work. __________________ Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig. \| .:~My AO Gallery~:. \| \| .:~The AO Rules~:. \|
Status: Offline

May 13, 2008, 05:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
Rave_Grip I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion. Posts: 2,314 Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,832	Re: Her Dream Eh, you never know. It can be a year before all of this comes true. Anywho, I love the last part. __________________ Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig. \| .:~My AO Gallery~:. \| \| .:~The AO Rules~:. \|
Status: Offline

May 21, 2008, 02:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kiani Haki22 Devoted Otaku Join Date: May 2008 Location: In the middle of nowhere aka wright city Posts: 526 Thanks: 86 Thanked 15 Times in 14 Posts Credits: 13,442	Re: Her Dream I love this poem.....one mistake mever....I think you meant never.....but keep on writting yet another poem of yours that almost made me cry....I was wonder what happen because when I read this poem I feel your pain...did somebody hurt you??? __________________ [Myspace] [Forum Profile] [The Journey my RPG] [My Social Group] [My Story] [Love Song]
Status: Offline

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