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Thread: Her Dream

  1. #1
    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Her Dream

    She watches him closely in the rays of the sun
    Always waiting for some sign that he really is the one
    And in the midst of all his pain and suffering
    She realizes that he is the one

    Not because of some mistaken or unrealized sweetness
    But because of the simple fact that he loves her
    For who she is and not the false front
    That she always puts up for everyone to see

    Looking back on those beautiful, sweet and romantic memories
    She goes to that far away dream land where she is his once again
    Holding him in her arms as he places on of those sweet kisses
    Upon her lips that make her knees go weak and long for his touch

    He brought the light to her life so long ago
    And as she moves on to a new life, yet unknown
    She can’t help looking back and wondering what happened
    To the love that they once had felt

    When she was with him she mever wanted to let him go
    She wanted to hold him forever as her own
    But in the end all they ever did was fight
    So she had to let him go, knowing the pain that comes with it

    If I could go back and warn her
    I’d tell her to go through it just the way she did
    Because to this day she still looks back and thinks of those
    As her happiest moments for the simple fact that they were spent with him

    As she looks in the mirror she sees me staring back at her
    With one hand holding a knife and the other hand bleeding
    Closing her eyes one last time
    She drifts to that world where she can be his for all of time
    Last edited by BrokenLover101; May 22, 2008 at 04:44 AM.
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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    Kiani Haki22 (May 21, 2008)

  3. #2
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Her Dream

    Sounds veeeery similar ^_^ It's a very nice, warm and fluent poem. But that is an understatement.
    It starts suddenly, creating a peaceful image in my head, of a gentle and loving girl who once loved her man. It did create a lot of emotion too, in my opinion. I loved its flow, how it smoothly steps to another level without loosing its essence. Great work.

  4. #3
    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: Her Dream

    Quote Originally Posted by Rave_Grip View Post
    Sounds veeeery similar ^_^ It's a very nice, warm and fluent poem. But that is an understatement.
    It starts suddenly, creating a peaceful image in my head, of a gentle and loving girl who once loved her man. It did create a lot of emotion too, in my opinion. I loved its flow, how it smoothly steps to another level without loosing its essence. Great work.
    I'm sure it does.
    Thank you but it's not really all that great. I was intented to create a girl who loves a man that no matter how hard she tries she cant give him up and in the she dies with him as the last thing on her mind and drifting into an eternal sleep where she can always have him by her side. I created it out of 3 peoples lives. Mine, Mary's(a friend of mine) and My ex boyfriend(you).
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Her Dream

    Eh, you never know. It can be a year before all of this comes true. Anywho, I love the last part.

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    One Man Army Ochi Gate is off to a good start Ochi Gate's Avatar
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    Re: Her Dream

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenLover101 View Post
    I'm sure it does.
    Thank you but it's not really all that great
    nothing you ever do or make is that great, is it?

    i thought it was OK. not really one for poems, tho. i prefer haiku, if anything.

    "You will only have eyes for Me!"

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    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: Her Dream

    Quote Originally Posted by Ochi Gate View Post
    nothing you ever do or make is that great, is it?

    i thought it was OK. not really one for poems, tho. i prefer haiku, if anything.
    Well i'm glad you liked it rave.

    aww.. I'll try to make a haiku for you sometime Ochi. ^^
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    Re: Her Dream

    I love this poem.....one mistake mever....I think you meant never.....but keep on writting yet another poem of yours that almost made me cry....I was wonder what happen because when I read this poem I feel your pain...did somebody hurt you???

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    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: Her Dream

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiani Haki22 View Post
    I love this poem.....one mistake mever....I think you meant never.....but keep on writting yet another poem of yours that almost made me cry....I was wonder what happen because when I read this poem I feel your pain...did somebody hurt you???
    Actually yes, He hurt me but I hurt him... so we both share this kind of pain...
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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