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Reply With QuoteKiani Haki22 (May 21, 2008)
She watches him closely in the rays of the sun
Always waiting for some sign that he really is the one
And in the midst of all his pain and suffering
She realizes that he is the one
Not because of some mistaken or unrealized sweetness
But because of the simple fact that he loves her
For who she is and not the false front
That she always puts up for everyone to see
Looking back on those beautiful, sweet and romantic memories
She goes to that far away dream land where she is his once again
Holding him in her arms as he places on of those sweet kisses
Upon her lips that make her knees go weak and long for his touch
He brought the light to her life so long ago
And as she moves on to a new life, yet unknown
She can’t help looking back and wondering what happened
To the love that they once had felt
When she was with him she mever wanted to let him go
She wanted to hold him forever as her own
But in the end all they ever did was fight
So she had to let him go, knowing the pain that comes with it
If I could go back and warn her
I’d tell her to go through it just the way she did
Because to this day she still looks back and thinks of those
As her happiest moments for the simple fact that they were spent with him
As she looks in the mirror she sees me staring back at her
With one hand holding a knife and the other hand bleeding
Closing her eyes one last time
She drifts to that world where she can be his for all of time
Last edited by BrokenLover101; May 22, 2008 at 04:44 AM.
X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X
X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X
Kiani Haki22 (May 21, 2008)
Sounds veeeery similar ^_^ It's a very nice, warm and fluent poem. But that is an understatement.
It starts suddenly, creating a peaceful image in my head, of a gentle and loving girl who once loved her man. It did create a lot of emotion too, in my opinion. I loved its flow, how it smoothly steps to another level without loosing its essence. Great work.
I'm sure it does.Originally Posted by Rave_Grip
Thank you but it's not really all that great. I was intented to create a girl who loves a man that no matter how hard she tries she cant give him up and in the she dies with him as the last thing on her mind and drifting into an eternal sleep where she can always have him by her side. I created it out of 3 peoples lives. Mine, Mary's(a friend of mine) and My ex boyfriend(you).
X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X
X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X
Eh, you never know. It can be a year before all of this comes true. Anywho, I love the last part.
nothing you ever do or make is that great, is it?
i thought it was OK. not really one for poems, tho. i prefer haiku, if anything.
"You will only have eyes for Me!"
Well i'm glad you liked it rave.nothing you ever do or make is that great, is it?
i thought it was OK. not really one for poems, tho. i prefer haiku, if anything.
aww.. I'll try to make a haiku for you sometime Ochi. ^^
X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X
X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X
I love this poem.....one mistake mever....I think you meant never.....but keep on writting yet another poem of yours that almost made me cry....I was wonder what happen because when I read this poem I feel your pain...did somebody hurt you???
Actually yes, He hurt me but I hurt him... so we both share this kind of pain...
X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X
X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X
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