LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With QuoteThe repition makes the poem boring and the short verses (you try to make them stanzas) arent appealing.
As I cried
You were there
As I hated you
You were there
As I wanted to be left alone
You were there
Now I need you
You aren’t in site
You betrayed me
You hurt me
You lie to me
You’re not the same
I am sorry
That i pushed you away
Did it come for you to change
And stop loveing me
You give me a glare so hurtful
Were did your love go
The world is so cold when you’re gone
Please be here with me
When you were gone
The lights went off
Please come back and
Be here with me
Shippo is determined to become a lvl higherI'm a solider of Pen and Paper!<3 Atomik_Sprout <3
The repition makes the poem boring and the short verses (you try to make them stanzas) arent appealing.
Seduced by Flesh
i like it a littel boring and sad but overall good work!!
poohs my boo
For this poem I would recommend you not using the same words and for you to not use that color it hurts peoples eyes. I would also recommend you to try and make it alittle more interesting. Some of your verses don't make since so try and straighten that up. Other then that your thoughts have been greatly heard.
™Mommy To Micah And Shawn!™
Thanks For The Amazing Tag Pyro!
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks