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Thread: Hierarchy II

  1. #1
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Hierarchy II

    Hierarchy

    Part II

    He was a soldier, a warrior at heart,
    She, a princess without freedom to start.
    Within castle corridors they convened,
    Ignorant to how they’d intervene.

    A lash, a flicker, a hum and snicker,
    Her smile wrought glee and laughter.
    Wealth dressed bodice and pale fair skin,
    To be her suitor would be gods’ sin.

    A slick sly smirk of honest quirk,
    His warm glare fashioned by work.
    Click clack of boots and armor rattle.
    His role was to succumb to endless battle.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

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    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: Hierarchy II

    The lack of crits & comments tend to really be insulting to me.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

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    Otaku Fallen Hero may be famous one day Fallen Hero may be famous one day Fallen Hero's Avatar
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    Re: Hierarchy II

    I thought it was a well written poem. I like the last line about the endless battle it really fits in good to tie up the poem. Although I haven't read Hierarchy part I and think the second part took some time to right even though it is short. Could tell you spent some creative hours assembling this poem. I'll look for part one to comment on, but keep up the good work regardless.

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    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: Hierarchy II

    hey.. thanks for the comment, the first part is later on in the forum, same page right now, it's titled w/o the number.
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

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    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Hierarchy II

    This is also a good poem. It was just as good as part one was. I look forward to reading part 3.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Re: Hierarchy II

    Quote Originally Posted by -=Broken^Halo=- View Post
    The lack of crits & comments tend to really be insulting to me.
    Dood, many people on this site get no comments or anything but they still post other things they've made. Just chill a little or something.. nice poem though, 'cept for the terrible cliche of the hero and princess, why not a tiger in a bikini and maybe a banana made of gold..? Genius.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

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