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Thread: Is this hope?

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Is this hope?

    I should have posted this here before i posted it as finished in our clan. But i would love your feedback on this one. Its supposed to express hope. And i dont know if thats what i actually did...hmmm. Please critique!

    In some kind of weak existence
    I hear you

    When all the day has gone
    And all that there is left is
    Darkness
    I see you

    As I move from place to place
    I listen for
    The harsh caw of the crow
    And I feel you

    Peoples faces interchange in traffic
    Looking up in thoughtlessness
    You appear
    And I lose you

    Depending on my carelessness
    Tripping over my own reverie
    I remember our adventure
    And I fall for you.

    Withdrawing from you is the hardest thing
    The music bringing me back
    I refuse
    I savor you

    I hope someday we can meet again
    Until then
    I miss you

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  2. #2
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Is this hope?

    yea it does i can see how hope comes from misisng someing and feeling them and seeing them and never lossong them wanting them to know you care for them
    and ope they return,very cool poem i loved it alot
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  3. #3
    Otaku Othello may be famous one day Othello may be famous one day Othello's Avatar
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    Re: Is this hope?

    yeah i agree with HolderOfTheDarkChalice. that was the exact thoughts i was getting. Great job on the poem i thought it was awsome! keep it up! ^_^

  4. #4
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: Is this hope?

    Why thank you. I was a little worried that it wasn't the hope everyone else invisions. But i'm glad at least you two think that its hope.

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  5. #5
    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
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    Re: Is this hope?

    The poem was totally great!!!

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    Re: Is this hope?

    hi... i am new here and ur poem strucked me, it's wonderful, really...I loved it... some stanzas project sad events and it just perfectly established stronger point on your theme

  7. #7
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    Re: Is this hope?

    Great poem there buddy, keep it up.

  8. #8
    Demon Loving Only Himself Self Loving Carnage may be famous one day Self Loving Carnage may be famous one day Self Loving Carnage's Avatar
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    Re: Is this hope?

    Wow. This is a good one. Keep it up. ^^
    You are not your job. You are not your bank account. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your ****ing Khakis. We are the all seeing all dancing crap of the world. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake you are the same rotting organic matter as everything else. We are all part of the same compost heap.

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