Hmm. This was an interesting way to approach poetry. Punctuation and work on your sentences would have made it in an enjoyable read.
When your shoulder is hurt
When you feel all people around are scratch your heart
and playing on you
Just because they only want their home work was done correctly
When each person around you only want to use of you
But not to work with you as a team
When you are sick because you push too much your body to do those job yourself
When you are exhausted and
no more energy to run your own business
They do not care of you
The only what they see is their own score
You are nothing for them
but a snack that had nothing can be eaten
For them, now, you only a trash
Yes.
They are so fulfilled with their ego
They are too selfish
When the system force you to be what you feel it is wrong
When the way for your dream become what you do not want to make any step on it
When the system will kill your hope if you do not obey it
When a master teach the class but not see you
Even you are better to do it than a person who try to do the same as you but do it wrong
Dear my friend,
Don't be sad
Don't be too hasty
Don't kill your self
Don't kill them
I know you heart is hurt scar
Hurt a very deep scar
But,
You must be patient
You must revive your own life
And be new born the great phoenix
I know you can do it my friend
Because you are better than them, much better
Because you have a dream
Because you are still alive and have the time
You do not need to be like them
You do not need to obey a foolish law
Because it is not what you want to
You can find the way
to revive and alive your life
Be patient. You will know what to do
Even now your life is in difficulties
The time will come
Don't be sad, my friend
I am always be with you
Hmm. This was an interesting way to approach poetry. Punctuation and work on your sentences would have made it in an enjoyable read.
Seduced by Flesh
thank you kasai. i'm glad you like it. (^_^)
Nice poem baikuza, keep it up man.
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