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Thread: hurt

  1. #1
    Thanks for the memories princesslady may be famous one day princesslady may be famous one day princesslady's Avatar
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    hurt

    me thinking you cared and loved me
    hoping you would not leave,
    me dreading the day that you would decieve me.

    wishing the days could go by faster
    after all the love we shared and laughter.
    you up leave me and say you cared.
    when you know good and damn well
    there was someone else there.

    i wish i could
    turn back time, and speak whats on my mind,
    but it's too late now you left me here. going back to your ex girl
    who loves you dear. hoping a day will come
    that i will see you again,
    until then my happy days are disapearing again.
    \

    since my cousin didnt write anymore stories she said i could post one of her poems.

    not my work!!NOT MY WORK!!

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

  2. #2
    Otaku tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey may be famous one day tupacs_wifey's Avatar
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    Re: hurt

    its beatiful i love it ..............

    HolderOfThe
    DarkChalice's LiL sis

  3. #3
    Newbie Sarlinari may be famous one day Sarlinari may be famous one day
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    Re: hurt

    Are those her exact words? Because some of it seems rather muddled up; "after all the love we shared and laughter."

    Shouldn't it be; after all the love and laughter we shared. ?

    Honestly, the poem doesn't exactly come through very clear, and some of the lines don't flow well together; "wishing the days could go by faster
    after all the love we shared and laughter."
    It just sorta skips from one thing to another, no real connection between the two. Which would be ok if they had been in seperate stanzas, but they ain't.

    The meaning behind the poem is very touching, but she should have read through her work several times correcting things and making sure it read through well.

    And it's deceive, but that's probably just a typo ^^;

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    Otaku forever a dreamer may be famous one day forever a dreamer may be famous one day forever a dreamer's Avatar
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    Re: hurt

    i agree that this poem needs some work to fix it up, but it is a very good meaning and after a few tweaks it will be a very good poem
    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same.

    Thanks Hieislove for the siggy!

  5. #5
    Thanks for the memories princesslady may be famous one day princesslady may be famous one day princesslady's Avatar
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    Re: hurt

    i will make sure to tell my cuz jessica if i see her.

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

  6. #6
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: hurt

    what a lovely poem princesslady, keep it up.

  7. #7
    Otaku N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n's Avatar
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    Re: hurt

    lovely poem Princess that my fav!!!!


    thank u SasuraiHell
    go -=NOOBZ=- clan!

  8. #8
    Thanks for the memories princesslady may be famous one day princesslady may be famous one day princesslady's Avatar
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    Re: hurt

    thanks but i didnt write it. i write differrent kinds of poems.

    Born to rule, raised to lead, taught to establish: The African Queen

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