Oh wow I like alot like your other one. they are all good.
And the rhyming in this one went well.
I like it lots keep it up.^.^
I cant find a way to make it go away,
Are there certain things that I have to do,
For it to go away?
I cry and cry for hell knows why,
Not able to stop,
Even though I try.
I dont understand why I have to be cursed,
Is there something that I did to deserve this,
Its a damnable thirst.
I think its time to go away,
Putting the gun to my head,
Show me the way.
And upon the cold grey stone,
That marked the grave,
As you standing there are...
... I once was.
As I am lying here now...
... you one day will be.
Hmm.. wow... thats deep.. @.@ :/ this one is about death right? if im not mistaken... good job again keep up the good work ^^
Last edited by RayMe; Aug 20, 2007 at 10:17 PM.
Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
I'm BACK AO!
That was really good I like the rhyme pattern in the poem you did a very good job but also very deep keep up the good work can't wait to hear more!!
Made by mi amigo Mveli2