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Thread: "I am"

  1. #1
    Otaku Aleister Sithis is off to a good start Aleister Sithis's Avatar
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    "I am"

    First off, I'm kinda new to making poetry so I apologize for it sucking, I'm not very good, i can admit. Here it is:

    I am despair
    I am the cold
    I am traces of souls
    that have not passed

    I am hatred
    I am the black heart
    I am the blade
    puncturing into skin

    I am darkness
    I am nothing
    I am the death
    lurking within all

    I am sorrow
    I am your blue
    I am that which
    causes reaction

    I am love
    I am true
    I am all
    above all

    I am happniess
    I am smile
    I am teh actor
    judging all

    I am joy
    I am you
    I am everything
    I am nothing

    I am the end
    I am te stat
    I am what shalt
    bring all your doom

    there ya go....not good I know.

    "And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
    Shall be lifted — nevermore!"

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: "I am"

    Interesting... It certainly was not bad. You should always do a quick re-read before posting to catch simple type-o's, I see a few here.

    Other than that, I thought this was good... repetative "I am" worked in your favor. Esspecially when the last line of (almost) each stanza was a continuation of your descriptions.

    Nice. Bravo.... Please show us more!
    ... Not Ever Again...

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