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Thread: i am...

  1. #1
    Newbie animefreak150 is off to a good start animefreak150's Avatar
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    i am...私は...

    i am here...you are there
    i am the Moon...you are the Sun
    i am the Dark...you are the Light
    i am the Cold...you are the Warmth
    i am alone...you are not...
    i am Sadness in all the Hearts...you are the Happiness in all the smiles
    i am crying...you are laughing
    i am Winter...you are Summer
    i am Sorrow...you are excitement
    i am the poison...and you are the cure

    i am different..you are not...
    i am sad...you are happy...

    that is why...i haven't the confidence...
    to finally tell you... that you are the only one...

    i would ever love...

    now here is the Japanese version of this poem... if you could read it please comment on this in my profile~~

    私はここにいます...あなたがそこに
    私はムーン午前...あなたは日です
    私は暗い...あなたが利用しています
    私は冷たい...あなたではない
    私は皆の心に悲しみをよ...あなたはみんなの幸せにするもの笑顔
    私は泣いています...あなたが笑っている
    私は冬の午前...あなたは夏です
    私は悲しみを私...あなたは興奮です
    私は毒をよ...あなたが治癒さ

    私は違います...あなたはされていません...
    私は..悲しいあなたは確信しています...

    私は持っていない自信...それをあなたに教えて...
    いずれかの私だけが愛している...

    となり、1つだけ...
    私は今までのが大好きだ...
    Last edited by animefreak150; May 10, 2010 at 08:21 PM. Reason: i wanted to add the Kanji's and the Hiragana's to this poem
    the worst feeling is not Death, its knowing that you aren't needed,

    that you are alone in this world, and that you no longer have a reason to live...

  2. #2
    Newbie DutchxD is off to a good start
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    Re: i am...

    Wow that is so beautiful but is Japanese numbers or is just my pc cuz I dont life in Japan?

  3. #3
    Newbie animefreak150 is off to a good start animefreak150's Avatar
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    Re: i am...

    no i dont live i japan either, its because i wrote one on it and decided to make its own decisions to turn it into a number one. so its not because of the reason u r thinking
    the worst feeling is not Death, its knowing that you aren't needed,

    that you are alone in this world, and that you no longer have a reason to live...

  4. #4
    Newbie charon is off to a good start
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    Re: i am...

    I read the Japanese version of 私は. My Japanese isn't great, but there were some phrases that were too directly translated so they don't really convey the same meaning as in the English version. A few phrases were completely different. I put the English version into Google translate to see if that was where the weirdness was introduced -- indeed, it was. It seems to mangle the text based on the periods, which is very strange behavior. It also alters the words chosen because of the capitalization of some words. It also likes to add the word 午前 (gozen), which means "morning" so that's very, very strange. You'll get better results by breaking up the phrases into separate lines, removing all unnecessary punctuation, and using standard capitalization. Using 1つ instead of 一つ is a legitimate style choice, although it's a strange default for a translation tool.

    Were you interested in a corrected version? Again, my Japanese isn't perfect (far from it), but I can help a bit.

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    animefreak150 (May 11, 2010)

  6. #5
    Newbie animefreak150 is off to a good start animefreak150's Avatar
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    Re: i am...

    i actually took a japanese class but i never learned to type it unless it was on microsoft word... so if u'd like u could correct it and rewrite it up on to this post. thank u for telling me this because i really dont know what most of could correct it~~ thanks~~
    the worst feeling is not Death, its knowing that you aren't needed,

    that you are alone in this world, and that you no longer have a reason to live...

  7. #6
    Newbie charon is off to a good start
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    Re: i am...

    Here is my pitiful attempt at a full translation. I'm not sure how to leave an empty contrast such as "you are not" in Japanese so I filled in the opposite word. I'm also not certain of my choice of wording for things like "warmth" and "cure". They might be too literal. The ending was a little though since I wanted to preserve the way that you broke up the sentence but still keep the meaning in Japanese. Therefore it was modified slightly but IMHO the order and meaning were preserved fairly well. Anyway, here it is.

    私はここにいます...あなたはそこに
    私は月...あなたは太陽
    私は暗い...あなたは光
    私は寒気...あなたは温もり
    私は一人...あなたは従えられてる
    私は心の悲しみ...あなたは笑顔の幸せ
    私は泣いている...あなたは笑っている
    私は冬...あなたは夏
    私は悲しみ...あなたは興奮
    私は毒...あなたは治癒

    私は変...あなたは普通...
    私は悲しい...あなたはうれしい...

    だから...自身がない...
    あなたに伝えれると...あなただけを...

    愛する事

  8. #7
    Newbie animefreak150 is off to a good start animefreak150's Avatar
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    Re: i am...

    this is a good attempt but its a little off but probably better than my attempt to try to write in japanese. ty charon~~
    the worst feeling is not Death, its knowing that you aren't needed,

    that you are alone in this world, and that you no longer have a reason to live...

  9. #8
    Newbie deiuchi is off to a good start deiuchi's Avatar
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    Re: i am...

    i liked this one beter than the you are poem this one has opposets(sp) Good job!
    u never know what you have untill its gone, long gone.

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