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Thread: ”I Can’t See This Through”

  1. #1
    Newbie loved4once may be famous one day loved4once may be famous one day loved4once's Avatar
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    ”I Can’t See This Through”

    I really am not good at poetry but I writ it alot sooooo....I'm going to see if it is as bad I think it is or not. Please let me know what you think!!! Hope you like it!!!

    ”I Can’t See This Through”

    Slowly and Desperately,
    I fade away...
    Abused and painfully,
    I try to live another day....

    Slowly and Desperately,
    My heart beat dies….
    Abused and painfully,
    I try to stay alive….

    Slowly and Desperately,
    Death draws near…
    Abused and painfully,
    I don’t shed a tear…

    I stand on thin ice,
    It is cracking…
    Pain is weighing me down,
    Hope, I am lacking…

    Nothing left for me to do…
    Oh god I can’t see this through!!!

    This pain can’t be true…
    Oh god I can’t see this through!!!

    The icy water turns me blue…
    Oh god I can’t see this through!!!

    Nearer, Death grew…
    Oh god I can’t see this through!!!

    Nothing left for me to do…
    Oh god I can’t see this through …

    All is calm in this eternal sleep; here grief forgets to groan and love to weep.”
    -Alexander Pope

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    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    Not bad, but still better than mine >.<

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    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    Very nice...but not quite positive near the end, but hey, not everything ends well.... *cries*

    But seriously, its very nice, no clue if this style has a name, but I don't even know my own style and I keep changing it so no need to staple a style, its what it is and that's all that counts.

    So end result, if you can make any kind of emotion pour through your words, I'm sure you could write poems as long as you have something on your mind
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
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  4. #4
    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    U win cookies
    I love that poem ^_^
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
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    Newbie loved4once may be famous one day loved4once may be famous one day loved4once's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life
    Very nice...but not quite positive near the end, but hey, not everything ends well.... *cries*

    But seriously, its very nice, no clue if this style has a name, but I don't even know my own style and I keep changing it so no need to staple a style, its what it is and that's all that counts.

    So end result, if you can make any kind of emotion pour through your words, I'm sure you could write poems as long as you have something on your mind
    It's my style. I'm an odd fuzz puff, but that's just me! I get depressed alot so most of mine aren't too happy. Sorry!

    All is calm in this eternal sleep; here grief forgets to groan and love to weep.”
    -Alexander Pope

    *My myspace*
    Check out the a cool new site for anime/manga lovers!!!
    {Anime Heaven}

  6. #6
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    No need to be sorry as I said, its your style XD

    All ends that ends well...or whatever the saying, hope to see more and that's taht XD
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

  7. #7
    THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    Much love for this poem much.
    ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤
    You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
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    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    depression- GOOD....normally ppl write depressing poems...coz well...happy-go-lucky kind of poems isn't rite... but i liked it...especially the style...

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