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Thread: ”I Can’t See This Through”

  1. #9
    Newbie loved4once may be famous one day loved4once may be famous one day loved4once's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    Quote Originally Posted by elie26
    depression- GOOD....normally ppl write depressing poems...coz well...happy-go-lucky kind of poems isn't rite... but i liked it...especially the style...
    I've only ever written one sort of happy poem. I'm just not a happy person deep down. Not most the time. I'll show you my ahppy poem thing.

    "Silver-White Kisses"

    Silver-white drops touch my skin. Kisses from Heaven descend on the world as it sleeps.
    A pure white blanket covers everything. Untouched by dirty hands, it glows.

    Sweet like sugar and as beautiful as elegant swans. Pure and simple. It falls and the world can't see the beauty it brings.

    Fall on the world, silver-white kisses, and heal this broken earth.
    Extinguish the flames of hate and pain. Earth's pain is healed for now and the flame has died away.

    Snow down the silver-white kisses and bring all of humanity together. Bring the world back together....

    -Wind

    All is calm in this eternal sleep; here grief forgets to groan and love to weep.”
    -Alexander Pope

    *My myspace*
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    {Anime Heaven}

  2. #10
    Newbie jasonwray1 may be famous one day jasonwray1 may be famous one day jasonwray1's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    the poem is good but to gothic to my liking. but thats just my opinion
    it does not think it does not sleep it does not laugh or cry. all it does from dusk till dawn is make the soldiers die

  3. #11
    Otaku Space Runner Champion HibikiLink may be famous one day HibikiLink may be famous one day HibikiLink's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    a wee bit depressing. It kind of describes a friend of mine perfectly. However It is very good and I compliment you on creating an awesome poem. Better than anything I could ever do

    Thanks alot Sasurihell and Kedar for the sigs and thanks Sammy 65 for the changing pics
    http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/1...icsclanhf5.gif[x/img]
    (just remove the "x" from the [x/img] tag!

  4. #12
    Otaku deftbeat may be famous one day deftbeat may be famous one day deftbeat's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    not bad
    why can't i write poems XD

  5. #13
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: ”I Can’t See This Through”

    You can combine two stanzas and make them one. That would increae the naturality of the flow of the poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


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