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Thread: I died a death

  1. #1
    Otaku Othello may be famous one day Othello may be famous one day Othello's Avatar
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    Unhappy I died a death

    I died a death but stayed alive
    In phantom's likeness I survive
    Alive, yet dead, I walk alone
    In rooms with walls as cold as stone
    I lived a life and dreamed a dream
    and loved the life you lived with me.
    Then in a whisper of a breath
    you left, and then i died a death.
    Though dead i live, i cannot part
    from love that lives within my heart
    within my sorrow i must strive
    to keep my hope and faith alive
    for all the love that i would give
    i surly would prefer to live
    to be content, not to survive
    but feel my spirit come alive
    you slowly took your final breath
    'twas me, my dear, who died a death.

    <comments please, and any critisizm you may have so i can fix this poem up if necisary>

  2. #2
    Newbie Sakurai may be famous one day Sakurai may be famous one day Sakurai's Avatar
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    Re: I died a death

    Dewd. That was like really good. And it even rymed! Bravo! -Claps- It seems PERFECTO

  3. #3
    Newbie Elreka may be famous one day Elreka may be famous one day Elreka's Avatar
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    Re: I died a death

    Hey again Guy!!!!!!!! I am so judging....wow this was good and it rymed. Stupid sakurai!!!!! I am over at her house and she is watching me type this...but that is not the point...great poem guy!!!!!! u should like make a book of poems... my boyfriend rites poems like this... not implying anything...unless...no it can't be!!!!!!! I must kill u!!!!!! what did u do with my boy friend...u stole my boyfriends soul!!!!! lol jk ok? Awsome poem...guy? but i do want my boyfriends soul back...ok? bye!!!!! (I'm going to keep watching 4 ur poems and i wil judge them all i want and there is nothing u can doooooo!!!!!!!!)

  4. #4
    Otaku Othello may be famous one day Othello may be famous one day Othello's Avatar
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    Re: I died a death

    ...? Elrika.... you crazy girl lol. j/k. Wanna talk, pm me lol.

  5. #5
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
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    Re: I died a death

    this one flows like silk.......when i read it to myself it....i didnt stop abruptly or anything....i think this one is again quite good......the feeling to having ur loved one leave u is painful......this is good....i think this is one of ur best...keep it up

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

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