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Thread: I need you love

  1. #1
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    I need you love

    I cry my tears
    As I reach out to you
    I breathe deeply
    You running through my mind
    I wish just to hear your voice
    It kills me when not hearing from you
    I worry of what happened
    Do you look up at the stars?
    See me in the moonlight like I see you?
    Do your heartaches like mine?
    I feel your pain and I know you wish for me
    A change been made of me
    I go crazy if I just don't hear you
    Here I can't help but cry and plead
    I know you haven't left me
    I know you want me just like I want you
    I seek you and your warmth
    I crave you so deeply
    Everytime I close my eyes, I see you
    You're my light that surrounds me
    As I cry, your name whisper from my lips
    Our love is strong
    I can't carry on without you
    My dearly forever, I await for you
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

  2. #2
    Otaku Just Pitching Champion, Mile High Club Champion, Penguin Dive Champion, Gold Strike Champion Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star's Avatar
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    Re: I need you love

    I love your poem. I can relate to the feelings in this, especially at this moment. I love reading things I relate to, because I can understand it more. Great Work! ^_^

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

  3. #3
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: I need you love

    Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem! It makes me happy that people like my work
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: I need you love

    The wording isnt great and correct punctuation is needed for flow.
    Seduced by Flesh


  5. #5
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: I need you love

    *pouts*.....oh I guess it wasn't good then....thanks anyway Kasai-san....
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

  6. #6
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: I need you love

    I see a couple of grammatical mistakes, like changing do to does in the line where is says "do you heartache like mine" Other than that it is a nice poem! Keep up the good work Hieislove!

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