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Thread: I wish you knew

  1. #1
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    I wish you knew

    First, a quick intro.

    I was known as elie26 before this. But it's been awhile now, I decided that I needed a new image. I haven't wrote for ages, AO is the place I go to if I wanted people to leave a few comments so I can improve on my work. That aside, I present you with my first poem in almost 3 years

    I wish you knew

    I wish you knew. I really do.
    Hopefully, you’ll say you love me too.

    My heart has not felt for 2 whole years
    It only served to hold all the hidden tears

    You stare at me and flash a friendly smile
    For that alone, I will walk 2 thousand miles

    Didn’t you notice how strange I spoke?
    Stumbling on words, as if I was poked

    Everything about you gives me butterflies
    Especially when I stare into your deep blue eyes

    I tried hiding it from you. I really did try.
    Because that darkest corner was where I sat and cry

    You were confused by me. What did you do?
    Once again, I wished you knew.

    It was you who brought along warmth and light
    And brighten up this dark, empty night

    You were the brightest star, my ray of hope
    So I clung onto you as my life-saving rope

    This time when you stared, there was something more
    Could it possibly be what I was hoping for?

    You tucked strands of my hair neatly into place
    While I slowly took in the features on your face

    “I’m off to find her. The one I truly love.”
    Then he raised his head to stare above

    I turned away to look at the cold, hard ground
    And watch the tears fall without a single sound

    You did not notice me crying, the one beside you
    So I thought one last time- I wish you knew.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: I wish you knew

    Aw, this was such a sad story.

    The ryhme and rhythm to the poem were real simple. Which is not a bad thing. although certain lines flowed better than others.

    I enjoyed the storry telling, and visual aspects of the piece.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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