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Thread: I would

  1. #1
    Otaku Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105's Avatar
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    I would

    I would give you my heart
    And the love that comes with it
    I would never lose you again
    I would never forget

    I would give you a house
    That could keep you safe
    And beautiful to match it
    Just like your shining face

    I would give you a car
    That would drive you away
    From of your troubles
    On any given day

    I would give you the the country
    The whole entire earth
    Yet nothing would match
    To how much you are worth

    I would give you anything
    Even from now or has been
    To have you right here
    In my arms, once again.

    Writer's notes: Man, I feel so...Sensitive, a bit too sensitive. But I have to finish up my poem story so I guess I have to stick with the feeling. Anyways, I felt like making up a different poem before I start again on my four part story (I just figured, I think it might be more than four parts =/). Tell me what you think and thanks for reading.
    Last edited by Chaos105; Jul 28, 2007 at 07:59 AM.

    They say, "I will die for my country." I never hear them say, "I will kill for my country."

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: I would

    I love it!!! it's a wonderful love poem, but it's not banal at all- it's sweet yet very real- it's clear that the feelings of the lyrical "me" are real...

    A really nice work!!!! I'll be waiting forward for the next one and for the four part poem-story!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Newbie 8769077 is off to a good start
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    Re: I would

    Wowser... whoever she is, shes a lucky woman.
    Tell me, where are the other men like you hiding?
    Wait... I know... They're with other women.

  4. #4
    Otaku Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105's Avatar
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    Re: I would

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    I love it!!! it's a wonderful love poem, but it's not banal at all- it's sweet yet very real- it's clear that the feelings of the lyrical "me" are real...

    A really nice work!!!! I'll be waiting forward for the next one and for the four part poem-story!!!
    Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. I'm working on part three right now but it's kinda hard for me. While I was writing it, it might actually be more than four parts.

    Quote Originally Posted by 8769077 View Post
    Wowser... whoever she is, shes a lucky woman.
    Tell me, where are the other men like you hiding?
    Wait... I know... They're with other women.
    Heh, thanks. But it seems I'm the only one like this in my area I'm around.

    They say, "I will die for my country." I never hear them say, "I will kill for my country."

  5. #5
    Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :) Sonny Sunshine Champion, Volcano Champion, Aquarium Sprengischen Champion, Spiderman Web of Words Champion, Look Alive Champion iluvmyloser is off to a good start iluvmyloser's Avatar
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    Re: I would

    omg!!great work here aww so romantic ur girl is going 2 be lucky to have such a great poet great job love the emotions keep it ↑
    ♥~*The Princess*~♥
    Yeah, Bye.

  6. #6
    Banned levitatinganimelover is off to a good start levitatinganimelover's Avatar
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    Re: I would

    awesome man that was good really good and dont be afraid to be sensitive sometimes

  7. #7
    Otaku Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105 may be famous one day Chaos105's Avatar
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    Re: I would

    Thanks everybody. I'm glad you liked it. I guess I'm more of a sensitive person then I thought I was.

    They say, "I will die for my country." I never hear them say, "I will kill for my country."

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