Thread: Icharus of Time

Holy....effing....hell...
The imagery you used and the story you told were both really....really powerful.
"his bloody halo shines brightly"
When you got to that part in your last stanza....I started crying. My heart broke a little when I found it was the speakers son. (I donno if this is true to your life or if your speaking from someone elses perspective. If it's you.... I am SO sorry you went through that.)
Wow. Just wow. Keep writing. I'm more and more impressed EVERY time I read. The flow, was perfect even if it was random.

Originally Posted by bratling

Holy....effing....hell...
The imagery you used and the story you told were both really....really powerful.
"his bloody halo shines brightly"
When you got to that part in your last stanza....I started crying. My heart broke a little when I found it was the speakers son. (I donno if this is true to your life or if your speaking from someone elses perspective. If it's you.... I am SO sorry you went through that.)
Wow. Just wow. Keep writing. I'm more and more impressed EVERY time I read. The flow, was perfect even if it was random.

It wasn't my son . . . (I have no children . . . no spouse, for that matter . . . not even a significant other).

Thank you very much. Your review was just what I needed to keep writing.

(I'm sorry I made you cry!!)

Don't be sorry. IT's really hard to do. In fact I'm usually the only one who makes me cry.

I'm greatful to hear it's not your child. Though if it's a person you know or something like that rather then pure fiction, I feel for them too. I've not got children but I know how importantt o me they would be. And I can't imagine the heart ach one would feel from seeing something like that happen to THEIR baby. Yanno? God.

Well I hope you do keep writing. Your very good at it. And I advocate it for ANYONE as a good source of personal therepy.

This is so violent!!!!!!! Yuck.. so depressing.. *cries*

Really well done! I am going to save it and have it.... If you dont mind.. buddy.. I just want someone to read it.

No, by all means. You can share it. That's very flattering. (Credit goes to me, though.)

Wow......this is really really good......especially the words.....they are so dark and mysterious!!!!!!
Great job!!!!!

Hah.. a very well done job by tenchu san.. well explain a bit to me about the pattern?

Follows a 10-8-5/5-8-10 pattern

ty..

Hmm... i love the imaginary here... the way the poem flows...is ok...kinda stuck on this verse to me..

The hand of my watch is waving good-bye.
Time has grown wings and is flying
Too close to the sun

i can't seem to read through the second like and third... stuck... :/ sheesh...maybe it's just me.. lol

I love the descriptions... and the way you wrote this poem is kinda dreamy.. put more effect on it... nicely done.. loved it... ^^