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Reply With Quoteyour poem flow was kinda off and if you were trying to have a rhyme scheme but other than that it seems really good ^^ but i dont think you should end every other line with a question its kinda redundant
If I die
would you feel remorse?
Or has my darkened heart
Turned that light of love into to hatred?
Would you cry?
Would you hold me tight
like you never did before?
Our would you simply
laugh at my demise?
Would you stomp on my grave?
Would you sing songs of sweet,
sweet relief?
Has my soul been such a burden?
Have I not cared for so long?
Did I ever love?[/CENTER]
Hard work never killed anybody but why try it.
your poem flow was kinda off and if you were trying to have a rhyme scheme but other than that it seems really good ^^ but i dont think you should end every other line with a question its kinda redundant
I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the GreatestThank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen
i think this was good i mean i seen a lot of songs from freinds and family but i think this is one of the best
jonny boy
SHORT!
Besides that come with more of a different filled not something I hear everyday in teenage angst. [I think I spelt that wrong]
Anywho!
It has meaning and that is what counts!
Nice.
well thank you for telling me what i've done wrong so that hopefully i won't make the same mistakes.
and i think i was actually in a good mood when i wrote this so...
Last edited by missbad818; Apr 11, 2009 at 04:41 PM.
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