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Thread: If I were...

  1. #1
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    If I were...

    *I couldn't think of anything good to end this, so sorry if the last part kinda sucks. >_<*

    If I were a teacher,
    I would teach the world to love.
    Just like a certain shaggy Jew
    who's watching from above.

    If I were a rapper,
    I would break the stunna shades
    of all you self-proclaimed "ballers"
    who brainwash the under-aged.

    And if I were a sword,
    I'd cut through your enemies.
    If they try to rob you, I'll
    teach them a little courtesy.

    Man, if I were a woman,
    I'd be a total lesbian!
    Because I love girls too much,
    and I don't have sex with men.

    Yo, if I were a pen,
    I would write your every thought.
    Every dream you've ever had,
    every thing that you "forgot."

    If I were your man,
    would you keep me in your heart?
    Or would you ditch me once you're bored
    Just as quickly as a fart?

    *again: sorry about the ending. i couldn't think of anything else. ~S*


  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: If I were...

    Yeah... the ending is a little... funny... No it's not! I'm laughing my head off here!!! But it's not bad, it makes it all a little more sarcastic, sometimes it's good to break smth. off like that.
    I adore this poem, it's so nice... Great to see people who are willing to change the world!!!! My favourite art is:
    Man, if I were a woman,
    I'd be a total lesbian!
    Because I love girls too much,
    and I don't have sex with men.
    Again becuse it was funny and made me forget about being all serious and stuff in this world.
    Nice work Sprout, nice work indeed!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Legendary Otaku Snake Champion, Zelda Champion, Crazy Koala Champion, Minigolf Champion, Concentrate Champion, Guess 5 Champion, Batting Champ Champion, Beach Ball Control Champion, Bookworm Champion, Wacky Word Wiz Champion, Fight Fight 3 Champion, Spinner's Luck Champion, Traffic Jam Champion, Yeti Pengu Throw Champion Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend's Avatar
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    Re: If I were...

    Quote Originally Posted by atomik_sprout View Post
    *I couldn't think of anything good to end this, so sorry if the last part kinda sucks. >_<*

    If I were a teacher,
    I would teach the world to love.
    Just like a certain shaggy Jew
    who's watching from above.

    If I were a rapper,
    I would break the stunna shades
    of all you self-proclaimed "ballers"
    who brainwash the under-aged.

    And if I were a sword,
    I'd cut through your enemies.
    If they try to rob you, I'll
    teach them a little courtesy.

    Man, if I were a woman,
    I'd be a total lesbian!
    Because I love girls too much,
    and I don't have sex with men.

    Yo, if I were a pen,
    I would write your every thought.
    Every dream you've ever had,
    every thing that you "forgot."

    If I were your man,
    would you keep me in your heart?
    Or would you ditch me once you're bored
    Just as quickly as a fart?

    *again: sorry about the ending. i couldn't think of anything else. ~S*
    Damn x_x! This was pretty good until the last stanza, and it went whewwwwwwwwww~~~ splat! The rapper one was great and the lesbian one was even better! Once again it all went splat when it got sappy, but you manage to redeem the poem with a fart joke...

    'Cause you give me something / That makes me scared, alright / This could be nothing / But I'm willing to give it a try / Please give me something
    'Cause someday I might call you from my heart

  4. #4
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: If I were...

    Thanks! I'm glad you guys liked it. ^_^ I'm thinking of changing the ending, I just don't know what to do with it yet, but if I do, I'll let you know.


  5. #5
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: If I were...

    i liked this poem alot its very creative , sometimes
    i wish i could be as humorous with my poems i have tried
    i think but im nt as good at funny stuff as others.

    but you did really greeat on the poem i cant wait
    to read another
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  6. #6
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: If I were...

    Quote Originally Posted by HolderOfTheDarkChalice View Post
    i liked this poem alot its very creative , sometimes
    i wish i could be as humorous with my poems i have tried
    i think but im nt as good at funny stuff as others.

    but you did really greeat on the poem i cant wait
    to read another
    Thanks a bunch. It really means a lot to me. ^_^


  7. #7
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: If I were...

    Quote Originally Posted by atomik_sprout View Post
    *I couldn't think of anything good to end this, so sorry if the last part kinda sucks. >_<*

    If I were a teacher,
    I would teach the world to love.
    Just like a certain shaggy Jew
    who's watching from above.

    If I were a rapper,
    I would break the stunna shades
    of all you self-proclaimed "ballers"
    who brainwash the under-aged.

    And if I were a sword,
    I'd cut through your enemies.
    If they try to rob you, I'll
    teach them a little courtesy.

    Man, if I were a woman,
    I'd be a total lesbian!
    Because I love girls too much,
    and I don't have sex with men.

    Yo, if I were a pen,
    I would write your every thought.
    Every dream you've ever had,
    every thing that you "forgot."

    If I were your man,
    would you keep me in your heart?
    Or would you ditch me once you're bored
    Just as quickly as a fart?

    *again: sorry about the ending. i couldn't think of anything else. ~S*
    The end made me giggle. I like it, think about it some more and you can fix the ending. I feel like it's not done anyways so maybe you should give it time and finish it.

  8. #8
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: If I were...

    a'ight I dont usually comment on your work... I keep my comments to you hidden elsewhere (like my deranged mind). But this....

    Its great... If I shove all my PERSONAL feelings way down... then I can honestly say this is one of my new AO favs.

    And the end... perfect... wouldn't change a word.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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