+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: I'm becoming a man

  1. #1
    Otaku kenchi18 may be famous one day kenchi18 may be famous one day kenchi18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    In the shadows
    Posts
    194
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Cool I'm becoming a man

    I'm becoming a man
    It's time to mature
    Only God understands
    What I'm looking for
    I feel an early death
    If I don't make a change
    I feel no chances left
    I will always be the same
    I've got no money
    I've got no girl
    It's not that no one loves me
    It's that I hate the world
    Your life means nothing to me.

  2. #2
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    someplace where the only light is the moon above
    Posts
    3,118
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 70 Times in 64 Posts

    Re: I'm becoming a man

    streght and to the point plus you dont hold back on your feelings
    very nce .you must really have issues with dating or something but i like this poem
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  3. #3
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell is an understatement
    Posts
    593
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Re: I'm becoming a man

    Wow...hatred fills the air xD

    Nice one ^_^ short...but it's ok i guess u'll improve in time XD no offence..

  4. #4
    AO shady bystander Comboling Champion bassdudez may be famous one day bassdudez may be famous one day bassdudez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wherever Kirika goes....
    Posts
    894
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: I'm becoming a man

    Alright, emo poem!! ^_^ It's quite a nice piece, a little more powerful descriptions would really help. Make some impact on the reader, then they'll understand what you are trying to portray.

    But it's short and sweet, and I like it
    Kastelic's creation



+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts