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Thread: I'm Not Sorry

  1. #1
    Zev
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    I'm Not Sorry

    Even though sometimes I find myself hating your guts
    Looking at your old wrinkly face
    Is simply pain enough

    Your cooking always tasted like burnt rubber
    How you ever convinced some man to marry you
    I will always wonder

    And oh yeah, I totally went there
    I'm over your cold glares
    And your mean degrading affairs

    I can't believe I once considered you my family
    Although I forgave you already
    Doesn't change the fact you are dead to me, Grammy

    I wrote this about my dearest Grandma Louise, because I recently saw her one last time. We havn't said a single word to each other in 6 years. If I ever were to say something to her again, this is what I would say.
    Last edited by Zev; Aug 31, 2009 at 12:32 AM.

    Signature is a Gwenibe original.

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    Banned beast may be famous one day beast may be famous one day beast's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Not Sorry

    Working out your frustration through writting certainly makes for an excellent work. Contribute more often please.

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    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: I'm Not Sorry

    hmmm i dont know if you would take offense or not but your poem is comical. no disrespect to however you may feel or what your purpose for writing this poem
    didnt know you could write. (poetry lol)
    good job
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  4. #4
    Zev
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    Re: I'm Not Sorry

    Thanks Beast, I just don't always have the inspiration that you do.

    Yeah, whenever I get really angry, sometimes I start to laugh because I realize I'm taking things over the top and it's ridicules. I swear I'm not bi-polar or anything! After I wrote my poem, I read it to myself and started laughing myself.

    Anywho, constructive criticism is always welcome, I want the cold hard truth, don't spare my feelings. *Looks away*
    Last edited by Zev; Sep 01, 2009 at 12:01 AM.

    Signature is a Gwenibe original.

  5. #5
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    Re: I'm Not Sorry

    Love the rhymes o.o I wish i could do rhymes as good as that.. but really.. it is comical.. xD love it!

    Short and sweet.. simple yet elegant...nicely done there ^^

    aww...Now we "have" to spare your feelings >.<

    It needs ... umm.. what you call those... punctuation marks! Yes yes..it need those... so the grammar would be more "complete"

    I can't spot any other.. o.o

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  6. #6
    Zev
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    Re: I'm Not Sorry

    Ouch! Geeze Ray! lol j/k Thank you. Yeah, I could use more punctuation, I just got a little lazy. Glad you liked my vent poem of hate.

    Signature is a Gwenibe original.

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