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Thread: Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

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    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    Intimate intervention, Divine affair

    Your kisses are bitter but sweet, Their so bittersweet
    Your hugs are cold but your fingers are warm, Such a lukewarm embrace
    I push and you pull, Why do you go this way and I that way?
    Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    The sea is warm and kind, As you are cold and harsh
    How long can this go on, Can we stay a secret forever?
    Will we always hide, In the shadows where no eyes see?
    You use and abuse, But I never turn you away...

    I'm like a drug to you, I'm what gets you high
    Your the user and the abuser, And I the used and the abused
    I give and you take, But never the other way
    For you I am the ultimate high, And you are my intimate nightmare...

    As I scream, You smile in victory
    Your kisses turn cold, Your touch has become harsh
    I can no longer run from this affair, You wont let me leave this place
    This intimate intervention, This divine affair must come to an end...


    For the drug is no more, And the high has died


    Well this is somethin that I wrote last night while listenin 2 some music.And can ya'll believe it but it's short!! lol This is about an obsessed love that becomes like a unhealthy drug.I'd say it's different but it just came to me so I had 2 put it down on paper.So I hope you guys like it, so tell me what ya'll think kk.
    Last edited by Shinigami's_Angel; Dec 22, 2007 at 06:46 PM. Reason: missed spelled a word
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

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    Re: Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    I was impressed just by this title.

    Do you ever watch Dr.Phil? He says nothing you do habitually goes without a payoff.

    "You use and abuse, But I never turn you away..."
    There must be a reason this person can't turn the abuse away... there must be something they GET from it.

    "I give and you take, But never the other way"

    See where Im going with this?

    If not... Its 4:25am... please cut me some slack. Very well written poem (despite my crummy analysis.)
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    Thanks for takeing the time 2 read and comment on this Peach_follows. Well I guess it's cause of love.That's why that person can't turn the other away.Hmm it's kinda like the only love they've ever know...ya know? lol I wrote this at like 4 or 5am yesterday lol.
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

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    Otaku Wolf_of_the_North may be famous one day Wolf_of_the_North may be famous one day Wolf_of_the_North's Avatar
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    Re: Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    Loved the imagery!!!! Brilliant!!!! It was short, but I think it wouldn't be as good any other way!

    DEMON SPAWN IS AWESOME!!!!! XP

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    Shinigami's_Angel (Dec 22, 2007)

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    Great imagery used in this poem Shini! This poem can also be used to express what some if not all people go through in relationship or the internal struggle within the mind that takes place. I can honestly say that from this stand point that i've plenty of realtionship and this poem describes most if not all of them! Well done! The only thing I did see is the word "luckwarm" did you mean lukewarm? Just ever pressing curiousity of a Fox! Awesome job and next don't cut the poem so short, although it does leave me wanting more!

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    Cool Re: Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    That was a great poem. It sounds just like the kind of relationship I had with my ex-husband. He was kind and could be alittle cruel at times. Hats off to you sis for doing such a terriffic job!
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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    Re: Intimate intervention, Divine affair...

    Well I don't like this poem as much as I love some of your other poems. Maybe also because I can't connect myself to this one that good...

    I didn't like the first two lines, because the "sweet" and "warm* repeated in such a small distance. Warm was quite ok, but sweet and bittersweet felt odd, even though that was a beautiful way to say something...

    And I felt that "use" repeats a bit too much Maybe it would be nice to find another word for that, I think it would really make the poem a bit more special...

    What I really liked was the immaginery of the lyrical 'me' of being a drug, because I quite know how that is

    Well anyways... Quite a nice work as always ^^ And I hope to see more!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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