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Old Sep 05, 2006, 08:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Intimidation Got The Best Of You

It Looks Like You're Drowning,
In your bed again
Night after Night
It's no surprise
Thoughts racing in your mind
What To to do the next day
What to say to everyone
Ay, we all play
Do what you want
But dont get in there way
They'll try to hurt you
But you gota fight back
Get up,
And punch them out
No one said it was simple
You need to be strong
Don't cower in a corner
Drop those bombs
Do it like its nothing
No one gives a damn
Just strut around
like your one of them
They'll belive what they see
But then turn right around
And give it to them
Make sure those blisters stay
So they dont fade away
They want a good kick
You know its true
So give 'em what they want
And Be proud in the end
'Cause what you did took time
For you to realize
They were wrong
And you werent
So you did what you could
To set them right
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Old Sep 05, 2006, 09:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Intimidation Got The Best Of You

very awesome poem i liked this alot and its true stand up something or you will fall for everything. learn this now and problems want be as big when you get older/ very cool poem i love this one
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Old Sep 05, 2006, 09:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
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Re: Intimidation Got The Best Of You

Nice poem! I want to chnge the first part so badly!
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Old Sep 07, 2006, 08:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Intimidation Got The Best Of You

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clow Sakura
Nice poem! I want to chnge the first part so badly!
Care to give Star Girl some suggestions as to why you think the 'first part' must be changed?
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Old Sep 08, 2006, 01:47 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Intimidation Got The Best Of You

Wee, finally something worth mentioning as good. The first verse caught my attention, the second made it waver, and the third? I never even finished.

The amount of description in the first verse is sweet. Now, shouldnt the supporting verses be contained of some sort of description as well?
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Old Sep 09, 2006, 01:06 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Intimidation Got The Best Of You

This is good! You let the person reading it really feel what's going on! I like it! Keep up the good work!

"Look for the mischievous paw prints in the sand, and as they disappear into this earth torn land. Will they be true or stay forever blue? That's were this BlueFox will stand."

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