+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Inverted Twilight

  1. #1
    丹色 月影 BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    The piano. ♫ | ♩
    Posts
    684
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Inverted Twilight

    A tribute to my username- I haven't made a poem in a while, so I thought I should write a poem so that my mind doesn't rot away. lol



    Inverted Twilight



    The Shadow of light…
    A black light.
    Parallel Darkness.

    Something within nothing
    Nothing within something
    The darkness surrounded by light,
    And the light surrounded by darkness

    I am the smiling sadness inside paradox
    A strand of hopelessness aided with faith
    I am sequential randomness
    The holder of Parallel opposites

    The white shade
    Not Twilight, not light, not dark
    Something that is nothing
    Inverted twilight

    Everything, but parallel to nothing
    The opposite of inverted eternity
    And everything’s other
    The thing that is forward and backwards

    The Bright Shadow,
    And the Inverted Twilight.
    Last edited by BrightShadow_96; Jun 18, 2006 at 03:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    The World
    Posts
    3,673
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Re: Inverted Twilight

    too many i am's iam's i am's i am's just made me wanna quit half way through it.
    u need to work on this most poeple that write peoms make the same mistake so its not a biggy.

    U want ur poem to have a flow, but u dont want to use the same words over and over, its veyr repiticous and annoying.

    try this for example.
    >>>
    Something within nothing
    The nothing within something
    Darkness surrounded by light,
    Light surrounded by darkness

    The smiling sadness within paradox
    Strands of nothing bound by fate
    Sequential randomness
    Holder of Parallel opposites

    i actual like it that way, its a very unqiue poem, just needs touch ups.
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
    |THE INFAMOUS CHEETOS OVERLORD||IceNineKills|

  3. #3
    丹色 月影 BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96 may be famous one day BrightShadow_96's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    The piano. ♫ | ♩
    Posts
    684
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Re: Inverted Twilight

    Yeah, I noticed the I am's and I edited it so that it doesn't have as many.. lol Thanx for the tips- I'll keep them in mind.

  4. #4
    Otaku setsuna mudo1617 may be famous one day setsuna mudo1617 may be famous one day setsuna mudo1617's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    189
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Inverted Twilight

    i thought it was good.
    keep it up.

  5. #5
    Otaku The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Streets of Compton,
    Posts
    270
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Inverted Twilight

    There was so much darkness and light and shadow..Kinda lowerd this poems full ability, But I still enjoy reading your work! Ill see your next work!!

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Zelda Twilight Princes Delayed...Again
    By Dice in forum Sensory Pleasures
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: Mar 27, 2006, 08:48 PM
  2. Sign or Twilight Bracelet
    By Tenseiga in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: Aug 29, 2005, 03:15 PM
  3. Twilight
    By Gin Nightingale in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Feb 28, 2005, 01:06 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts