Thread: Inverted Twilight

too many i am's iam's i am's i am's just made me wanna quit half way through it.
u need to work on this most poeple that write peoms make the same mistake so its not a biggy.

U want ur poem to have a flow, but u dont want to use the same words over and over, its veyr repiticous and annoying.

try this for example.
>>>
Something within nothing
The nothing within something
Darkness surrounded by light,
Light surrounded by darkness

The smiling sadness within paradox
Strands of nothing bound by fate
Sequential randomness
Holder of Parallel opposites

i actual like it that way, its a very unqiue poem, just needs touch ups.

Yeah, I noticed the I am's and I edited it so that it doesn't have as many.. lol Thanx for the tips- I'll keep them in mind.

i thought it was good.
keep it up.

There was so much darkness and light and shadow..Kinda lowerd this poems full ability, But I still enjoy reading your work! Ill see your next work!!