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Reply With Quote:P Not your best poem Jason~ Why~ Because its a talking kinda poem. Out loud, not in head kinda thing~
But I like it. :P Its different.
It feels like I've laid still for too long,
I've been on my knees with my hands hanging,
My head has not looked up,
I've felt there was no hope left,
No sunlight will fall upon me.
My body felt so numb,
The cold pericing my skin,
Though the pain is dull,
But something made me look up,
That sweet voice and warmness you brought.
It's unbelievable what you've brought to me,
My eyes once so dead and hazed out,
They've given me a vision of beautiful,
Your flowing hair, bright eyes and beautiful smile,
I fear the same pain come again,
I fear I will go back to the way I once was.
Yet you freed me of my shackles,
Brought warmth to my body,
Made me feel secured,
I hold onto you and never want to let go,
For the same eternity I've spent in pain,
I want to spend it in love.
bin so long since i've written a poem XD anyways commetn and enjoy it
Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra
:P Not your best poem Jason~ Why~ Because its a talking kinda poem. Out loud, not in head kinda thing~
I like your poem Blade X, it kinda reminds me of my youth.
oh well, i've tried to write from the heart and stuff. it's bin awhile since i've written a poem and all >.< i only can say tht i tried
Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra
My head has not looked up
I really dont like that verse. Other than that? I could visualize the poem, good job.
Seduced by Flesh
I really thought this poem was interesting... I like your use of words... This is really deep..
Thank you Lasura!My lover speaks; and he says, 'Arise my beloved my beautiful one and come!' -Song of Songs 2:10
It's a nice poem Jason. ^_^ Very deep and meaningful.
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