at its end

!levitatinganimelover · Aug 08, 2007, 08:51 AM

nothing can seperate
me from my blade
you're gonna wish
that you hadnt stayed

the bodies all cursed
with decapatation
the world is cursed
with annihilation

eveyone knew they
could not defend
because they where scared
existince is at its end

i know its short but i hope you like it

*Peach_follows* · Aug 08, 2007, 06:50 PM

I wish I could feel free to go "murder, death, kill" mode on some poetry. But Im affriad Id over do it.
You on the other hand have found the perfect balance between unleashing that fantasy of wrath. Without being to explicit.

I deffinately wouldn't piss you off .

!levitatinganimelover · Aug 09, 2007, 07:30 AM

lol thanks for the comment i actually liked a poem by atimk sprout that was similar in its basis which gave me sort of thye inspiration for this so ccheck out his poems and youll see the similarities.

*Peach_follows* · Aug 09, 2007, 07:42 AM

Yeah, I read his right after he wrote it. Im one of his biggest fans. I saw the simularity in your poem as soon as I read it.

!levitatinganimelover · Aug 09, 2007, 07:44 AM

sweat im also one of his fans but i think his poem killed mine because of my shortnesss

*Peach_follows* · Aug 09, 2007, 07:50 AM

Try not to compair. Everyone's different, and thusly expresses things differently. His was a little more emotional. And yours was a bit more brutal. Nothing wrong with that. Short. Sweet. and to the point. Just keep it up!

*atomik_sprout* · Aug 09, 2007, 02:23 PM

Not bad. ^_^
I woulda made it a bit longer--y'know, add some detail to it--but it's cool.
I hope to read more of your writing. ~S

Aug 08, 2007, 08:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
!levitatinganimelover Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 165 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: -20	at its end nothing can seperate me from my blade you're gonna wish that you hadnt stayed the bodies all cursed with decapatation the world is cursed with annihilation eveyone knew they could not defend because they where scared existince is at its end i know its short but i hope you like it
Status: Offline

Aug 08, 2007, 06:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
Peach_follows Femmebot's feel nothing. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 1,026 Thanks: 42 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 2,215	Re: at its end I wish I could feel free to go "murder, death, kill" mode on some poetry. But Im affriad Id over do it. You on the other hand have found the perfect balance between unleashing that fantasy of wrath. Without being to explicit. I deffinately wouldn't piss you off . __________________ Who needs a spray can, when you're a femmebot? http://www.myspace.com/j1gg481tt
Status: Offline

Aug 09, 2007, 07:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
!levitatinganimelover Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 165 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: -20	Re: at its end lol thanks for the comment i actually liked a poem by atimk sprout that was similar in its basis which gave me sort of thye inspiration for this so ccheck out his poems and youll see the similarities.
Status: Offline

Aug 09, 2007, 07:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
Peach_follows Femmebot's feel nothing. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 1,026 Thanks: 42 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 2,215	Re: at its end Yeah, I read his right after he wrote it. Im one of his biggest fans. I saw the simularity in your poem as soon as I read it. __________________ Who needs a spray can, when you're a femmebot? http://www.myspace.com/j1gg481tt
Status: Offline

Aug 09, 2007, 07:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
!levitatinganimelover Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 165 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: -20	Re: at its end sweat im also one of his fans but i think his poem killed mine because of my shortnesss
Status: Offline

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Aug 09, 2007, 07:50 AM	#6 (permalink)
Peach_follows Femmebot's feel nothing. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 1,026 Thanks: 42 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 2,215	Re: at its end Try not to compair. Everyone's different, and thusly expresses things differently. His was a little more emotional. And yours was a bit more brutal. Nothing wrong with that. Short. Sweet. and to the point. Just keep it up! __________________ Who needs a spray can, when you're a femmebot? http://www.myspace.com/j1gg481tt
Status: Offline

Aug 09, 2007, 02:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
atomik_sprout CHUCK NORRIS!!! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 2,087 Thanks: 55 Thanked 69 Times in 64 Posts Credits: 110,749	Re: at its end Not bad. ^_^ I woulda made it a bit longer--y'know, add some detail to it--but it's cool. I hope to read more of your writing. ~S __________________ http://www.myspace.com/boondocksamurai
Status: Offline

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