+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: It's Strange

  1. #1
    ~Counting Down the Days~ NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    862
    Thanks
    48
    Thanked 43 Times in 39 Posts

    It's Strange

    Its strange that we see everything so diffrently
    Yet we grow closer still
    Heatrs melding together
    Making the two one

    Its so odd to me
    This feeling burning deep inside
    Nothing I've felt before
    But that I want so despretly to keep alive

    But it burns deep within my body
    Greater still my soul
    Consuming every facet of my life
    Taking hold of me and filling the void

    Once I was the black sheep
    Isolated, alone, and afraid
    Its so hard to believe that I've found you for my home
    My place to belong

    There are times I truly wonder
    Was I right to want you all to my self
    I try my best to be unselfish
    To share regardless of how I feel
    By nature I'm not jealous
    But I do feel a pain in my heart when you look away

    Its almost sickening to feel this way
    Worry every day
    Restless every night
    Wondering will this be the last time I hear your voice
    Or feel the security of being in your arms

    That's why I want to keep you all to myself
    To know where you are
    Question every tremor I feel
    I'm not trying to smother you I promise
    But its so hard to control myself

    I have such a sixth sense about you
    It almost scares me sometimes
    Knowing when you're not quite yourself
    When you're sick
    Or when you've been harmed

    You know me all too well
    I'm almost envious
    But I'm too astounded to feel a twinge of animosity towards you

    You see right through me every time
    Each little laugh and evey little whine
    Nothing escapes your eyes
    Your ears are sharper than anything I've ever seen
    And your heart I admire most
    Always so protective
    Making me lose myslef every time

    You inspire me to create
    Make things that even I can find beautiful
    Feel justice
    Experience peace
    Strange I always say
    But from what I can tell
    Love- it's just strange


    Last edited by NevesElocin; Nov 14, 2007 at 10:47 AM. Reason: Add in an image and correction

    Our love will go on until the end of time. I will always be yours and you will be mine.

  2. #2
    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    you really do not want to know
    Posts
    525
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 49 Times in 47 Posts

    Re: It's Strange

    My goodness.......the words are so beautiful and insightful and full of troubled emotions..........
    I think this is an amazing poem!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

  3. #3
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    628
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts

    Re: It's Strange

    I agree quite beutifull but watch out for typo's they tend to sneek in. such as "trmor?" anyways also keep an eye on the lines of each stanza, you seem to switch between 3, 4 and 6 line stanzas. keep up the work Neves!
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  4. #4
    ??* Judge and Executioner ??* White Van Man Champion, Home Run Derby Champion, Mahjongg sport Champion, Jewel Champion, The Asteroids Champion koga23 may be famous one day koga23 may be famous one day koga23's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    2,161
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 18 Times in 15 Posts

    Re: It's Strange

    Very nice poem,It has allot emotion and i thought very touching.Hope you wright more like this one some time soon.Also like said before watch out for the typos Ill pm you about that,Thats about all i seen wrong with IMO.
    ....Player Killer....
    ??* "There is nothing to fear but F.E.A.R. it self -(F.E.A.R) " ??*

  5. #5
    Otaku Bowling Champion Tifa Lockhart is off to a good start
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Nibelheim
    Posts
    150
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Re: It's Strange

    Beautifully written. Yes, like mentioned a few posts above, watch out for some typos. Overall, super job. ^^

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Strange talents
    By atomik_sprout in forum Cyber Lounge
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: Nov 13, 2007, 03:29 PM
  2. Strange Things
    By The White Wolf in forum Cyber Lounge
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: Jun 23, 2007, 12:10 AM
  3. Strange.
    By atomik_sprout in forum Poems
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: Jun 19, 2007, 11:53 AM
  4. This is strange... Can someone help me?
    By Gods_Dragon in forum Feedback and Questions
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: Dec 06, 2006, 10:12 PM
  5. Do you think this is strange?
    By Ojai in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: Jan 26, 2005, 07:44 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts